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Author Topic: Plot Bunnies and Fic Ideas: Discuss!  (Read 120670 times)
Sokkas sarcasm student
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What is purple, but an amalgamation of dichotomy?


« Reply #25 on: Jun 13, 2007 10:51 pm »

hmm... the comet. i should do something cool with the comet. maybe somehow bring forth fire-bending powers that we didn't know we had.. or something along those lines.  maybe like, because the we've never had a comet close enough to our planet to bring forth the powers, that we couldn't learn of it... or something along those lines.  i think i'm going to start this tonight.

just because the avatar-verse was destroyed, doesn't mean the comet was.  thanks for that high elemental.

and i absolutely love the name for the excavators.  thank you very much.

aether. that's an incredibly awesome and original name.

i think i'm going to be PMing you for more ideas during the writing.  i'll be giving you props for my idea when i start it.  thanks a lot h.e.
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Ouroboros
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« Reply #26 on: Jun 13, 2007 11:19 pm »

I'm trying to think up a name for another world consisting of purely european and arabic peoples, sort of an opposite to the Avatar world which is purely asian and native american. I want there to be interaction between these two worlds but am having trouble thinking up how the culture of my own created world would differ from the Avatar world. I already know I want there to be a strong emphasis on religion in 'euro-world', sort of like making it a pan-papist state, but I also want a steady amount of feudalism thrown in there as well.
  How are women treated in society? So far its a toss up between equality and subservience.
  The nature of the nobility. I've already decided that the emperor must be elected by the four arch bishops of the church, but are the candidates nominated by the more powerful families of the land itself? Do I give the priesthood complete control or balance it out between the powerful nonclergy as well?
  There are benders in this world, though they don't call it bending. Are all benders in the priesthood, or only the most powerful, like with the Dai Li? Do all priests have to be benders?
  I've already decided there will be four major peoples in the world, each reflecting a different element. The 'norse-like' will be water benders, but I haven't made a clear decision on earth, perhaps gallic? Fire was going to be the 'middle-easterners' but I still haven't fully decided on that and air is still(forgive the pun) up in the air. I'll I know is I want the air people to ride something that flies but I haven't decided on what it will be and am having a hard time thinking of anything.
  On bending in this 'euro-world', they have two types of bending, the 'soldier arts' which is what they use in Avatar, and the 'high arts' which is bending without movement, aided with the mastery of spirit. Only powerful priests can use the high arts and the soldier arts are no where near as advanced as the Avatar bending.
  Also I'm trying to think of a name for this 'euro-world', I want it to be something non-generic and haven't ben able to think of anything. Since this world is partly inspired by the holy roman empire i was thinking something germanic would be suitable.
  So...any ideas? 
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« Reply #27 on: Jun 13, 2007 11:48 pm »

I'm trying to think up a name for another world consisting of purely european and arabic peoples, sort of an opposite to the Avatar world which is purely asian and native american. I want there to be interaction between these two worlds but am having trouble thinking up how the culture of my own created world would differ from the Avatar world. I already know I want there to be a strong emphasis on religion in 'euro-world', sort of like making it a pan-papist state, but I also want a steady amount of feudalism thrown in there as well.
  How are women treated in society? So far its a toss up between equality and subservience.
  The nature of the nobility. I've already decided that the emperor must be elected by the four arch bishops of the church, but are the candidates nominated by the more powerful families of the land itself? Do I give the priesthood complete control or balance it out between the powerful nonclergy as well?
  There are benders in this world, though they don't call it bending. Are all benders in the priesthood, or only the most powerful, like with the Dai Li? Do all priests have to be benders?
  I've already decided there will be four major peoples in the world, each reflecting a different element. The 'norse-like' will be water benders, but I haven't made a clear decision on earth, perhaps gallic? Fire was going to be the 'middle-easterners' but I still haven't fully decided on that and air is still(forgive the pun) up in the air. I'll I know is I want the air people to ride something that flies but I haven't decided on what it will be and am having a hard time thinking of anything.
  On bending in this 'euro-world', they have two types of bending, the 'soldier arts' which is what they use in Avatar, and the 'high arts' which is bending without movement, aided with the mastery of spirit. Only powerful priests can use the high arts and the soldier arts are no where near as advanced as the Avatar bending.
  Also I'm trying to think of a name for this 'euro-world', I want it to be something non-generic and haven't ben able to think of anything. Since this world is partly inspired by the holy roman empire i was thinking something germanic would be suitable.
  So...any ideas? 

As for a name, i did some translating and found the word "universe" is weltall, so i changed it a bit to "Eltalia".  sounded a bit german, though you might not like it.  that's fine.

and i really like your idea about the priests being the most powerful bender, i think it would be cooler to call them clerics, or since you're going with a germanic theme, the word is "Kleriker", which could be changed to something like "Klerica" or whatever you want.  and also i definitely think the gallic people would make awesome earthbenders, they're a very earthy people, and remind me a lot of the earthbenders of avatar.

the arabic people would make good fire benders, since they live in the firery-hot desert lands.. but also it might be a bit contradictory(because of sandbenders being earthbenders).. but then, if you can work around it, or take the ability to bend sand away from the earthbenders... it could work

and for the most part, so i've read, the middle-eastern women are treated like valuables as apposed to people, so i think it might be a cool concept to not allow them to bend, or have it forbidden by the men and government, but have a character that neglects that.

just a couple questions.

1).  what time period are you centering this around.  i know you mentioned feudalism, but still, when is the time period?

2).  who is the story going to center around?  is it centering around a certain person, or the entire countries themselves?

3).  and lastly, are the other continents going to be mentioned or spoken of at all? or are the european and asian continents literally the entire world?

hope i helped.

-s.s.s.
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Ouroboros
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« Reply #28 on: Jun 14, 2007 12:04 am »

1) just before the renassaince so about fifteenth century europe, but the actual level of civilization changes from land to land.
2) the story actually centres on Aang and the other characters, set six years in the future, though there are some 'european' characters who become ain characters as well.
3) its actually another planet entirely, the priests are trying to open up a gate that would lead them to the Avatar world for the sake of conquest, to convert the godless savages so to speak. Half of the story is about a priest trying to open the gate on the Avatar side, the next half would be a war between the two worlds and it alternates between the Avatar world and Weltall (I liked the name so I'm gonna use it)

Another thing I need help with is naming the countries within Weltall itself. I've already figured out most of the powerful city states, all of which have german influences, but I can't think of names for the arabic places. Also I'm still stuck with airbenders, I want them to be in Weltall, though I don't want them to be monks. I was thinking maybe making them a clan of spies and assassins or nomadic mercenaries that hire themselves out between the numerous city states and countries. Though Weltall is 'unified' under the church it is far from a peaceful place.
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« Reply #29 on: Jun 14, 2007 12:09 am »

I'll help you out too Ouroborus, because I always find it fun brainstorming about stuff like this,

Due to the Avatar world being rather male-dominated how about making your world more female-dominated in the sense that only women could be the high priests. Of course like the Avatar World the men wouldn't completely shafted and get into high positions but the highest positions would still be held by women. And yeah most of the lands should be a theocracy, except one which should be a secular republic. (The Air Nation maybe for a bit of parallelism?)

I just thought of a good idea just now, why don't you make the Air Nation like the ancient Greek city-states, independent but yet can team up when either city-state is threatened, they'd be the republic I was talking about. The Firebenders as Arabs and Waterbenders as the Norse makes good sense. For the Earth Nation how about the Mesopotamians? They could be master farmers and build huge religious monuments like the ziggurats. They could also be the Egyptians as well and have their own pharaoh figure and make even bigger pyramids due to their Earthbending powers.

And for then name of the world how about Mediterra? Seeing is that most of the areas you mentioned are either close to or border the Mediterranean Sea I thought that could work well.
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Sokkas sarcasm student
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« Reply #30 on: Jun 14, 2007 12:16 am »

that story sound a lot like the FullMetal Alchemist movie.  which was a phenomenal story.  i'm already excited to read it.

Well, something to consider for the airbenders, i've been doing a lot of research on the assassins of old, and according to all the sources, they actually came from african countries, such as isreal and the like.  it was be cool to incorporate that into your story.  they were actually made to assassinate big leader in the Christian faith, so maybe you could make them into an illusive mountain-dwelling people(closest to air as i could imagine), that comes down for assassinations on the priests or clerics or whatever you decided on.

here are some names that might interest you as well for your countries:

Fjadal, Nhadra, Gyinma, Halhim, Rakham, Sahkif, Kihar Ghalia

^^just a few I could whip up that sound middle-eastern^^ Smiley

again, i hope this helped.

-s.s.s.
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« Reply #31 on: Jun 14, 2007 12:27 am »

Air Nomads as greeks, who were notorious mercenaries, good idea! I also wanted them to be big with javelins and other throwing weapons, they throw them from the back of whatever-the-hell-they-ride and use airbending to hit with greater force, to retrieve the weapon and to hit with greater accuracy. That idea fits nicely with what I know about greek warfare, discus and javelin throwing were big parts and distinctive to that culture.
  The Air Nomads will also be big matriarchs, the females rule the society much like pre-hellenistic greece. This will set them at odds with the gallic and norse cultures, which prize masculinity above all else. As to the priesthood I see both women and men as relatively equal in the eyes of god, with women just a little higher up due to the fact they bare children.
  Still having trouble with the arabs though, I'm thinking about maybe throwing a bit of persia into the mix just for added flavour. The 'arabs' and the 'persians' will co-exist in the same, desertish area but they won't get along. Also wanted to work phoenixes into that thing, fire birds from the desert that taught them firebending, I might even make it a secret cult or something.
  Also the structure of the church itself, each element is given a different task. Fire is the Inquisition, Water works as healers, but I'm not sure if Earth or Air would make better missionaries. Maybe air as the missionaries and earth as local priests/preachers? Still haven't decided if I should make this a set rule or not, that each element is given a specific task within the church.
  The thought of injecting some mediteranean influence was a big help, and I can feel the world growing in my head.
  Once again though, what the hell should the airbenders ride? I wanted them to ride something, I thought about pegasus like creatures but that left a bad taste in my mouth, I'm leaning towards giant bats or maybe griffin like creatures, something solid but not as bulky as sky bison. For a while I was going to make them dragons but that was a bit too generic for my taste.
  Sahkif has a nice ring to it, so does Kihar Ghalia. Maybe Sakhif for arabs and the more fancy sounding Kihar Ghalia for the persians?
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« Reply #32 on: Jun 14, 2007 12:47 am »

Air Nomads as greeks, who were notorious mercenaries, good idea! I also wanted them to be big with javelins and other throwing weapons, they throw them from the back of whatever-the-hell-they-ride and use airbending to hit with greater force, to retrieve the weapon and to hit with greater accuracy. That idea fits nicely with what I know about greek warfare, discus and javelin throwing were big parts and distinctive to that culture.
  The Air Nomads will also be big matriarchs, the females rule the society much like pre-hellenistic greece. This will set them at odds with the gallic and norse cultures, which prize masculinity above all else. As to the priesthood I see both women and men as relatively equal in the eyes of god, with women just a little higher up due to the fact they bare children.
  Still having trouble with the arabs though, I'm thinking about maybe throwing a bit of persia into the mix just for added flavour. The 'arabs' and the 'persians' will co-exist in the same, desertish area but they won't get along. Also wanted to work phoenixes into that thing, fire birds from the desert that taught them firebending, I might even make it a secret cult or something.
  Also the structure of the church itself, each element is given a different task. Fire is the Inquisition, Water works as healers, but I'm not sure if Earth or Air would make better missionaries. Maybe air as the missionaries and earth as local priests/preachers? Still haven't decided if I should make this a set rule or not, that each element is given a specific task within the church.
  The thought of injecting some mediteranean influence was a big help, and I can feel the world growing in my head.
  Once again though, what the hell should the airbenders ride? I wanted them to ride something, I thought about pegasus like creatures but that left a bad taste in my mouth, I'm leaning towards giant bats or maybe griffin like creatures, something solid but not as bulky as sky bison. For a while I was going to make them dragons but that was a bit too generic for my taste.
  Sahkif has a nice ring to it, so does Kihar Ghalia. Maybe Sakhif for arabs and the more fancy sounding Kihar Ghalia for the persians?
Griffins are good, you could do wyverns too. Wyverns may not be Greek but they're still a Western monster.
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« Reply #33 on: Jun 14, 2007 01:37 am »

Air people living high up in mountain strongholds, thats a good idea. It'd explain why they can live as semi-nomadic mercenaries rather than under the yoke of the church, they can't be conquered easily. It also adds to the warrior feel I'm going for. Pretty much I'm trying to make them a more brutal version of the air nomads of avatar, warlike mercenaries rather than peaceful monks.
  Still thinking about the church though. I want it to be governed by a 'council' of four arch-bishops, one for each element, but I can't decide on a subsystem. I want an Inquisition, fire bending zealots just strikes me as a fun idea, but I'm not sure if I'll make this an integral part of the church, a semi-indepented branch or completely unrelated to the church. All I know is the Inquisition is governed by a cardinal, but I'm undecided if I'll make this a rank for the entire church.
  Also bending in day to day life, is it that common or sen as 'magic' by the common people? I want the nobility to be familiar with it, but does that extended to the peasantry as well? Are they educated, or a class of serfs? I know with the water people, the norse, those that aren't warriors will be slaves/thralls. I still can't think of an original sounding name for the norse(I'm bad wit names).
  The 'empire' will be a problem. I was thinking of transplanting the Earth Kingdom whole, mostly because I can't think of anything else. I know I want the fire people, the Sakhif and the Kihar Ghalia, to have a strong middle class, with merchants, musicians and poets in abundance, but I'm not sure if the earth people will be the same. I know I want there to be widespread poverty, its a large land after all, but that's about it. Any elaborations, especially names for the yet unamed peoples ie air, water and earth, would be helpful.
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« Reply #34 on: Jun 14, 2007 01:55 am »

Air people living high up in mountain strongholds, thats a good idea. It'd explain why they can live as semi-nomadic mercenaries rather than under the yoke of the church, they can't be conquered easily. It also adds to the warrior feel I'm going for. Pretty much I'm trying to make them a more brutal version of the air nomads of avatar, warlike mercenaries rather than peaceful monks.
  Still thinking about the church though. I want it to be governed by a 'council' of four arch-bishops, one for each element, but I can't decide on a subsystem. I want an Inquisition, fire bending zealots just strikes me as a fun idea, but I'm not sure if I'll make this an integral part of the church, a semi-indepented branch or completely unrelated to the church. All I know is the Inquisition is governed by a cardinal, but I'm undecided if I'll make this a rank for the entire church.
  Also bending in day to day life, is it that common or sen as 'magic' by the common people? I want the nobility to be familiar with it, but does that extended to the peasantry as well? Are they educated, or a class of serfs? I know with the water people, the norse, those that aren't warriors will be slaves/thralls. I still can't think of an original sounding name for the norse(I'm bad wit names).
  The 'empire' will be a problem. I was thinking of transplanting the Earth Kingdom whole, mostly because I can't think of anything else. I know I want the fire people, the Sakhif and the Kihar Ghalia, to have a strong middle class, with merchants, musicians and poets in abundance, but I'm not sure if the earth people will be the same. I know I want there to be widespread poverty, its a large land after all, but that's about it. Any elaborations, especially names for the yet unamed peoples ie air, water and earth, would be helpful.
I was thinking mabye you could go with Berserkr, which was the original Norse word that was origin of the words berserk and beserker which  where Viking warriors dressed up in bear skin. Also for another idea with the Norse Waterbenders, they should be lead by a trio of head preistesses called the Norns, who in Norse mythology were the Norse counterpart of the Greek Fates. I thought that would be make it interesting.
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« Reply #35 on: Jun 14, 2007 02:06 am »

I don't know about the name Berserkr, all that means in old norse is 'wolf skin wearer' and I do have actual berserks in my story so that might cause some confusion. The norns thing is interesting though since the water people have alreay been converted to the church, heart and soul, they no longer follow the norns, though some secretly do. In fact the church have now vilified all the old religions and the norns are now seen as a cackling trio of witches(which actually happened in real life so it might work) For a historical view the norns work, but the water people are now a male dominated society, they would never let a woman lead them.
  A name, perhaps the Svedric?
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« Reply #36 on: Jun 14, 2007 04:48 pm »

Svedric sounds cool i'd have to say.

as for the norse people. the word "Krieger" means warrior in germanic(which is the closest language to old norse).  So i was thinking something along those lines, like Kriegen, or Kriegos.. or whatever.  Another thing you might want to consider is the word "Matrose" which means sailor.  I know the norse were known quite well from their boating escapades, so that word might be something you could use to contrast between the different kinds of norse(or if Kriegan-if you want to use that).

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« Reply #37 on: Jun 14, 2007 06:58 pm »

For the Norse people a Sea Serpent would be very good as thier Elemental Spirit. For the Eath Nation it could be a Golem and for the Air Nation it could be a griffin, wyvern, or mabye a roc. The Phoenix as the Fire Country's Spirit is the best choice I think so stick with that.
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« Reply #38 on: Jun 14, 2007 11:08 pm »

Krieger will be the heathen water people, Svedric will be the churchified ones. the krieger make the svedric look nice and tame. Kriegan will by the plural of Krieger. The spirit animals are considered part of the heathen religions, the air people will have the griffin, their mounts, as their spirit animal. phoenix stays with the fire. the sea serpent, the kraken, will go with the Krieger. Still not sure about the golems, their traditionally a jewish myth, creatures created through the use of magic, but its workable.
Thanks for the help guys, its been invaluable. Though I still need a psuedo-greco name for the air folks. I don't know much about greek names, aside from the obvious, so any help on tat would be appreciated
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« Reply #39 on: Jun 15, 2007 12:01 am »

the greek word for sky is "ouranos"(close to your sn..kinda cool)  So something along the lines of Ourani, or even just Ouran.

also, the word for mountain "oros" which is kind of close, i'm not sure what you would use it for, maybe for the mountain temples or wherever they dwell. just thought i'd add that.

hope that helps ya ouroboros.
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« Reply #40 on: Jun 15, 2007 12:12 am »

They'll be called the ourani, that sounds good, and their mountain stronghols will be called Oros-Nui, Oros-Xei, Oros-De and Oros-Te, one for each direction, sort of like the north, southern, eastern and western air temples in the avatar world. Also the people of Weltall will call the Avatar world Cathay, though the Avatarans won't use the world themselves.
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« Reply #41 on: Jun 21, 2007 04:40 pm »

I actually have two ideas in that I'm considering.

The first is a rather simple set of stories following several soldiers three years before the series began, from both the perspective of the Fire Nation and the Earth Kingdom (and possibly the Water Tribe too).  The story itself will focus on the final conquest of the Earth Kingdom lands north of Ba Sing Se.  Major plot points will include the introduction of the battle tank (I calculated that should be around the time they first appeared), the siege of refugee protecting fortress, and the last stand of the Northern Earth fleet.

The second is about the next fire avatar, set roughly 400 years after the show.  I have less ideas of this, but it will start briefly with her discovering her avatar powers and then focus on her training under the new air nomads who teach her about fun and family and all that.  Since the new Air Nomads are important to the story, I'll describe them: since there aren't anymore Sky Bison, the Air Nomads travel around in hot air balloons similar to the current war balloon, which they control by airbending.  They are merchants by trade, but are more interested in meeting people and making them happy than they are about making a profit (well, most anyway).  They are technically the least advanced because they do not standardize or mass produce their designs, but the technology they make is often the most clever and efficient.

General feedback is more than welcome.  However, there are several issues that I need help with.
1) For the first story, I wanted to make the number of characters per nation fair, but then there would be more characters for the alliance than the Fire Nation.  So I was thinking three Earth Kingdom, Three Fire Nation and one water tribe and one mercenary.  Does that sound good?

2) Just how advanced to make the technology in the second story. On hand, I want to show that 400 years has passed and the world has changed a lot, but at the same time I don't want to make bending look obsolete.  I was thinking about 1930s level technologies, with giant airships cruising the sky, trains connecting the major cities, and car still expensive and limited.

3) I don't have any antagonists for the second story.  The only ideas I can get are a corporation trying to take control of the air nomads regulars or terrorists trying to use the avatar to further those own ends...which I have no clue what they could be.
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« Reply #42 on: Jun 21, 2007 10:59 pm »

what i think is really cool about your story, is the advancement in time.

i'm not sure if you're familiar with any final fantasy games(the newer ones specifically).. but they advance time in a very original and inventive way.

while a lot of the clothing and fighting tactics remain a bit stoic and archaic, they advance certain weaponry, and transportation is almost always well beyond it's years.

so i think you really need to decide what exactly you want to advance in terms of weaponry, transportation, and clothing etc...

you can pretty much be endlessly creative in this sense.  for instance, i just started writing my own fanfic (i'm not trying to publicize myself, just helping the point), and i advanced it 800 years into the future.

i had complete creative control over what i could change and keep the same, which did NOT render bending pointless, but in fact became something that many different people tried to attain and use as a power control.  so knowing that you have complete control over what you want to change and keep the same, you should have infinite amounts of ideas floating around.

as for the antagonists, i would have to hear more specifics about the story to make even a decent judgment as to who that could be. oooor i could just throw some original ideas your way if you want??  just let me know, i'd be happy to help.

and the number of characters in your first story seems pretty plausible.  if you want to keep them equally important in the story(as it sounds like you're trying to do), just make sure you give the same amount of story-time to each of them without pointlessly dragging the story on just for their own character development.( << something i'm sure you know already, but reiteration can't hurt.)

anyways, if you want anymore help, just try to be a bit more specific in your information and questioning, i'd be happy to help.  it sounds like a potentially really original and fun story.

-s.s.s.
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« Reply #43 on: Jun 21, 2007 11:02 pm »

For the antagonist how about a secret organization seeking to plunge the Avatar World into war once more, a corrupt White Lotus Society perhaps?
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« Reply #44 on: Jun 21, 2007 11:26 pm »

Okay, Rhino, one thing on the technology of the first fic:

I think 1930s might be a little advanced. Just my personal opinion. You'd have to handle it...delicately. For instance, the Fire Nation seems to actually be industrialized--I mean, they have tanks, which appeared in WWI. They sail in metal ships. But the FN seems sort of backwater at times, too; I mean, most of the time we see just common soldiers (like in Jet, for instance), they just have spears and swords.

But...the other nations don't seem to be. They're years behind the FN. The Water Tribes sail in canoes and carry spears; the earthbenders, in defense of Ba Sing Se, didn't actually have anything besides the wall; they used bending, and just chucked rocks at the Drill.

I guess what I'm trying to get to is that, at times, the Avatarverse seems to be sort of technologically advanced. And then at other times, it's like ancient China all over again. But then again, with bending, airships (I was thinking a sort of Hindenburg, XD) and trains might not be so far off. The EK has a "subway", after all. But cars might be a little too much, even in four hundred years.

Just my opinion. ^_^




*sigh* I have (another) random passing fancy for a fic, so I thought I'd ask here.

Basically, it'd be a sort of "what if" fic--what if Sokka had stayed behind in BSS during the season finale instead of Katara. I don't really have too many specifics pieced out yet--mainly just general ideas--but basically, through entirely different circumstances, Sokka and Zuko both end up arrested and in the caverns, like in the show.

And then it would divert again. First, Aang wouldn't have any visions of trouble in the city (this is a part I'm worried about...is it plausible?). So Azula would take over the city without a hitch, capture the Earth King, yadda yadda.

Toph would make her way back to the city as she does in the show. Iroh, like in the show, would come find her. They both go and rescue Zuko and Sokka. Aang's still training with the guru at the Air Temple, Katara's chilling with Hakoda.

And...from there I don't really have too much of an outline. (Even less than earlier, hah!) Zuko, Iroh, Sokka, and Toph decide they just need to find Katara and Aang and get the news to them; they go undercover to Hakoda, and they set sail for the Air Temple.

At the moment, I'm planning for Aang to have already completed his training and left for Ba Sing Se. But I'm not sure on that, either. Would the Guru be able to use his amazing...ness to keep Aang from going?

I don't even know. Like I said, just something I thought of a day or two ago, and haven't really mapped out.
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Ouroboros
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« Reply #45 on: Jun 22, 2007 05:44 am »

Rough Rhino. About that fic set three years previous to Avatar. Three fire nation, three earth kingdom, one water tribe and one mercenary. Sounds good to me. I like the idea of a mercenary character but where would he be from? Kyoshi perhaps? Or some wild area in the Earth Kingdom? As for the water tribe character the obvious thing would be to make a female healer from the northern water tribe. The fire nation would be interesting. Since you talk about the last stand of the Earth Kingdom fleet perhaps you should make one of them a commander in the fire navy? The other two could be soldiers or even colonials who have left home seeking adventure only to be dragged into the war. The Earth Kingdom, maybe make one a sailor in the doomed earth kingdom fleet? As to the specifics of the story itself I'll leave tht to you but those are the ideas I have. If you'd like more on this topic specifically give us a PM.
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Eman5805
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« Reply #46 on: Jun 23, 2007 05:07 pm »

On TV.com I've been an avid participant in an RPG, and the length of my posts made one of my fellow RPGer's suggest I write a fanfiction. I tried my hand at it before, but never really had a story to go on, now I think I do, here's a "little snippet" that involves two OCs of mine named Indra and Darlo.

The odor of sake, sweat, blood, rotten food, and even what used to be food, got thicker the closer Indra was to the ring, but she could bear it. The small crowd was a buzz with anticipation for the next fight. There was no more than 40 people lined up around the 30 foot wide ring, so Indra didn't need to stand near the edge like everyone else. In a bit of irony, despite Indra's utter disdain for the savagery that these fights were, she would have to watch one to find out who the one calling himself "D" was.

All Indra knew little about "D" except that he had been following her and somehow may know she is, or perhaps was, a Stranger. Indra couldn't write the note he slipped into her money pouch(which she was using to collect change as she played her flute on the streets) off as mere coincidence. Her anonymity and life could be in jeopardy. She refused to leave it up to chance. Not to mention her curious nature was like an itch that screamed to be scratched...

A man Indra didn't see before pushed through the thickest crowd of men on the far side of the ring and jumped in. He cupped his hands over his mouth and yelled ,"The final fight will now begin! Combatant Dao Kong, enter the ring!"

From the same side of the ring as the announcer stepped in Dao Kong. He was wearing a metal dragon mask, silver plated armor leggings, and wore the same on his left arm. In his other hand was a massive flail that must have weighted atleast 100 pounds, but he carried it with ease. He wasn't wearing a shirt and Indra could see scars all over his chest, a combat veteran. He raised his flail in the air and let out a animal like roar and the crowd erupted into a drunken cheer.

"Dao Kong? This is 'D'?" Indra asked herself as her eyes narrowed. I can't believe I didn't notice him before. No. I couldn't have not noticed him walking by. Could that crudely scrawlled note have just been an advertisement for his fight?

Indra shook her head and began to head for the door muttering, "A complete waste of-"

"-and now combatant Darlo, enter the ring!"

"WhooooooooooEEE!" Indra stopped in her tracks, she began to turn when she heard the yell from outside, when a figure raced into the room like a blur, footsteps and the faint clink of metal going rapid fire as he streaked by arms length away from her. He charged straight at the crowd, not giving them time to separate and, as if stepping on a spring, shot into the air, flying over the group of shocked men. He twisted in mid flight and landed sideways in the ring only to bounce back into the air. Again twisting sideways, his legs stiff and perpendicular to his body, literally leaving a trail of smoke behind his two feet as they flew through the air. He landed upright, both feet still together, with two burst of flames from his feet off to his sides. Away from his opponent, Dao Kong. Who he landed directly infront of...

The crowd again erupted, this time in a flurry of boos and curses. Darlo stared straight at a man nearly a foot taller than him, who the crowd clearly was betting on, and smiled a cocky, sure smile.

Darlo was unique in every way. His skin was several shades darker than any Indra had seen before. His hair was unqiue as well, it grew in many small, round bundles that were tied into a pony tail. His build was compact with chisled, cut muscles. His calfs were epsecially pronounced. He wore a thin dark red vest and black pants that weren't really pants at all, extending just beyond his kneecaps. He wore no shoes and had black metal bands around his forearms and ankles.

Indra stood staring at Darlo with a mixture of shock, awe, and concern. "He's 'D.'" Indra said. She was sure of it. When she was playing her flute on the street she remembered hearing that same clink of metal pass, but since she played with her eyes closed she didn't see where it came from. But, to prove it even more Darlo revealed who he was to Indra himself:

Indra herself was fleet of foot with equally sharp reflexes as well, and she saw, almost in slow motion, the near split second that Darlo was right infront of her. That split second was still burned in Indra's mind, nearly overclouding the realization that Darlo is also a Firebender. In that split second, Darlo looked at Indra and winked...


So, just an early draft of a little scenario a couple chapters I guess that's what you can call em in. So, tell me, think I've got something?
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RhoughRhinoAlternate
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« Reply #47 on: Jun 24, 2007 03:33 pm »

First off all, I want to thank everyone for their input. 

@ Sokkas Sarcasm Student:
I am familiar with the Final Fantasy games. Actually, I've seen lots of stories that mix technology and magic, so wasn't what was bugging me.  I just wanted to know what particular technologies could fit into the avatar universe.  I would like to thank you for that second comment, I think I'll try to make bending an important part of each nation's culture, like having air nomads use pneumatic machines and the Water Tribe can make things out of pycrete.
I don't have detail planned out yet, so any and all antagonist ideas would be accepted.

@Highelemental: Interesting, interesting, but why would anyone want to do this?

@thunder_713: Eh, actually I can't help but wonder if 1930s technology is a little too primitive for 400 years into the future considering how fast technology advances and the tech that the avatar world already has. Cars too advanced? All the Fire Nation has to do is make a simpler model of the tank and you have a good car.  Not to mention I don't think the other nations are quite that primitive as all that, since the EK has a smoke-stacked factory and steam powered ferry, and the air nomads had a complex air lock...
I like your AU story idea.  I think it would plausible for Aang to not get a trouble vision...but one would have to wonder how Azula could organize anything before Sokka, hoping to see Suki, would blow her cover.

@Ouroboros: Actualy, I already had many of the characters planned out, and you actually thought of a lot of the same ideas.  I will post the characters to the OC thread soon, but for now: My first idea for the Water Tribe character was a healer...but I decided to go with a pirate instead, having the healer be his wife and a frequently occurring side character. Originally, I was going to have my mercenary character be a sandbender, but I decided instead to make him from a pirate town, like the one the Waterbending Scroll.  Actually one of the characters is a Fire Navy commander, but I didn't make any Earth Sailors because I figured at this point the Earth Navy would be like the WW1 German navy-trapped in port by its own fear, except for some light raiding (seen through the eyes of the WT character) and the doomed last stand.

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High Elemental
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« Reply #48 on: Jun 25, 2007 10:44 am »

@Highelemental: Interesting, interesting, but why would anyone want to do this?
For greed, glory, or mabye to prove a point that humans are corrupt to the Spirits or something like that.
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Rhodna
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« Reply #49 on: Jun 25, 2007 02:49 pm »

For a few months, a story idea has been constantly pestering me and I can do very little to calm it down. Basically, I've read about a ton plus one of post-series stories and most of them present the following ideas: Zuko is Fire Lord after having fought against his father, the war has ended, peace reigns supreme, the Gaang are now fast friends with the new Fire Lord and the Fire Nation is only looked upon with moderate skepticism by the other nations, with post-war tensions, treaties, mistrusts and old hatreds being most often minimized or completely swept under the rug.

Perhaps I'm a general pessimist and cynic, but I hardly believe that a century-long war's consequences (especially when it was a conflict of such magnitude, which spanned over half the globe at one point) could be resolved in just a few short years (sometimes even months!) and with such ease, only requiring that the new Fire Lord make a few oaths, sign several non-aggression treaties and offer some form of material compensation to the affected parties (the Fire Nation's economy would most likely collapse if it were to undertake the task of paying for every kind of damage that its armies had performed during the entire war). Perhaps such a modern system of placing trust in the new leadership may be a modern characteristic, specific to our times, but the Avatarverse is still largely a feudal-era world, lacking the things that we consider common knowledge today (such as a conclusive list of universal human rights, for example).

The story that I'm working on takes a more realistic (and somewhat grim) approach to what a post-war world might look like. Drawing my inspiration from recent world history, I've found that Germany's example would best suit the Fire Nation. After World War II, Germany was utterly defeated and humiliated - most of its major cities were lying in ruins - even non-industrial sites such as Dresden, which was devastated during Allied fire-bombing raids. After the capitulation, the entire country - as well as the capital of Berlin - was divided into four occupation zones, each secured and maintained by one of the four main states on the winning side: the United Kingdom, France, the United States and the USSR. For several years after the war, Germany didn't have a true government of its own and it eventually ended up being divided between the capitalist and communist blocks, with the proclamation of the separate, independent states of the Federal and Democratic German Republics.

Looking at this historical example, it struck me that such an approach could have been performed with the Fire Nation as well. Surely, after more than a century of hatred and killing, the hatchet can't be buried that easily. After everything that it had to endure I think the Earth Kingdom would most certainly be out for blood and the only manner in which it would be satisfied would be if the Fire Nation had to endure the repeated humiliations that it had also been subjected to - such as the complete domination of a foreign power, the lack of an independent form of government, foreign control over its economy, the interdiction of rebuilding any kind of army or of having access to heavy artillery or battleships.

In the story that I'm working on, after the final battle the royal family was completely decimated, the only survivor being Zuko - though heavily wounded as well. Not at all willing to forgive or to show any kind of clemency towards a defeated country, Kuei's successor on the Earth Kingdom throne decides that the only way that a new war would be be prevented was if the remaining nations seized control of the Fire Islands, dividing them equally between themselves, into spheres of influence. Since the Air Nomads are all but extinct - and Aang deeply disapproves of such a course of action - the islands are divided between the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom - and when the Water Tribes pull out of the agreement, deciding that things have been taken too far and that they have now turned from oppressed to oppressors, the EK has complete and total control over the former Fire Nation, its economy, workforce, riches and natural resources.

To ignite an already explosive situation, out of hatred and revenge for their actions during the war, the Earth King decides to sentence all Firebenders to death, so that they may never rise up again to threaten the world - of course, against the Avatar's horrified protests and among mixed reactions from his own people. This effectively starts what will be known in history as the dark years of the 'Firebender Genocide', when men, women and children were struck down mercilessly, due to the power in their veins. This of course does nothing to maintain the already fragile peace and pockets of Firebender resistance are formed both on the Fire Islands and on the EK's original territory - soon sparking out in to full-blown civil war, as some Earth citizens turn against their own king and aid the fugitives against the army.         

In this twisted, war-torn world, the surviving characters struggle to live. Katara moves with Aang into the Western Air Temple, opening its doors to all refugees who are running from the war raging on below and soon turning it - with the help of other Waterbender Healers into a hospital/shelter/refuge called Shangri-La Temple - an oasis of peace in a dark, violent world. 

Zuko, however, isn't so fortunate and struggles in appalling conditions for several months until he finally manages to reach Ba-Sing-Se again, hoping that the city's large, impervished population will offer him some degree of cover from the soldiers searching to kill him. Here he meets Jin once more, who doesn't recognize the haggard, starving beggar at first and graciously offers him shelter in her own home.

Well. that's the baseline/foundation for the story, called The Game of Death, which I've started posting here on the forums (see sig for link). What do you guys think, is it feasible?  Smiley 
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The Game of Death [Zujin/Zutara] - http://forums.avatarspirit.net/index.php?topic=5982.0
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