1. How was she playing games with their lives? If she was trying to mess with anyone it was Ozai. And unlike Ozai she actually cares about both Zuko and Azula
2. Ozai made her leave and she wanted to take both kids but Ozai wouldn't have it. Let's remember that this happen because she wanted to save Zuko's life
3. Sure, forgetting her children was bad but for her the good memories of her children outweighed the bad memories and you think she was happy about forgetting Zuko and Azula? NO, she felt bad before the memory wipe and after when she got the memories back. If it were Ozai I wouldn't be surprise if he actually didnt cared about losing memories of his kids.
Don't make this about gender. The fact is despite Ursa's mistakes, Ozai is still the bad guy or villain if you want to leave out gender. Explain to me how anything Ursa did is worse than:
Abandoning his newborn child because of suspicions of not being a fire bender
Telling his son that he was lucky to be born
Deciding to treat his son like crap for no reason but to spite his wife
Raising his daughter to be an antisocial psychopath weapon. (At least Ursa tried to raise her right)
Willingly kill his son to move up the throne
And remember these were all Ozai's decisions so don't even try to blame Ursa for Ozai's actions
1.) If Ozai is a complete monster who threatened her loved ones to get her to marry him... why wouldn't he kill her if she cheated and potentially screwed up the line of succession with a cookoo egg dud of a child like Zuko? More importantly why wouldn't he kill this unlawful brat who is screwing up the line of succession?
The "fact" she wanted to mess with Ozai is in no way a good reason for planting the idea of Zuko being another man's child in his mind. And in reality it ruined a lot of Zuko's earlier years - as well as Azula who became the only child Ozai could trust to be his... maybe.
2.) No, he made her leave because she obviously can't be trusted - whether it be to keep her legs close, avoid poisoning her children's minds, or you know not poison him with "super" poison. Also it comes off as a kindness he didn't have to give - the punishment for regicide tends to be extreme torture and death. So... yeah. Also why would he send off his "heirs" with a traitor? What sense does that make... like at all?
3.) See now you're fanwanking hard enough to put an eye out. If the good memories outweigh the bad then why go through with it? If they are so important then why not keep them and take a different path? Nothing says she has to get the facial wipe - supposedly she's an actress... use make-up, use wigs, never leave the house... something besides "Hey let me abandon my children in my heart and mind as well as physically!" Also so what if she maybe felt bad? Sozin felt real bad, but Aang was still the Last Airbender until Tenzin was born. Also regret isn't the same as repentance. Repentance is far more important than just "feeling bad" about something, because repentance will keep you from making the same freaking mistakes/sins/crimes in the future.
And now you're doing that HP fandom crap where you remove the goal posts and just hammer away at the other guy to make your guy look better. And yeah... no... Ozai is a horrible person.
Iroh is a horrible person. And Ursa is a horrible person. The fact one person has a longer list of "crimes" doesn't mean everyone else gets a pass.
More importantly Ozai is a villain - I don't expect much if anything decent from him... but Ursa is supposed to be decent and she isn't. That said:
a.) She didn't abandon a newborn... she abandoned a little boy who had come to depend on her for emotional support against a father who hated him in part because of her actions.
Worse she was going to do so without a word - not even a goodbye until he caught her. And she did end up leaving her daughter without a word of concern... which has led to her child at the age of 14 coming to the conclusion her mother never loved her and considered her a monster.
b.) She apparently behaved like a seven year old was a monster and the only memories that child has is of being asked what's wrong with her.
c.) Deciding to antagonize someone with little to no concern with others with the idea he is raising another man's child for the lulz. I mean... men have their pride and finding out your child isn't your flesh and blood... People have died over less. And apparently he wasn't too much of monster - because Zuko was confident enough to open his big mouth at a certain meeting and get a nice facial scar for his troubles.
d.) How? How did Ursa try to raise her right? Look at how Azula speaks of her mother. Look at how Azula reacts when confronted with her actual mother. Ozai hurt that girl, but so did Ursa and arguably Ursa was the worst offender here.
e.) The line of succession must be clean - and there are no paternity tests in the Avatar World. The moment Ursa presented the idea that there was a flaw in the line... is the minute Zuko was slated for death.
I'm not blaming Ursa for anything except being selfish, stupid, and in need a firm fist to the mouth from Azula and Zuko and her "new" family - because really? What if her OTL had been
arrested and drawn and quartered for touching (never mind impregnating) the Prince's wife?
So she felt bad, she still went through with it. Also she knew how horrible Ozai was, why the heck would she risk Zuko's life by stating that Ikem was his father? She didn't know that Ozai had her watched before she "did the deed" with him, she just did it to confirm he was stealing her letters. That was extremely foolish and it could've gotten her and her son killed. I don't care for how meek they made Ursa. Instead of this strong, noble and fierce protector we were presented with a meek, almost fragile shell who cared more for her past than her present and future. What she did for herself was extremely selfish and I think she should face the consequences of her actions, maybe when Azula is sane they won't reconcile.
^This. How in the world is Ursa getting anything like a pass? She has access to super poison and a husband she doesn't want... Come on! I mean her kids are able to sneak into anywhere at the ripe old ages of 14 and 16 - but she couldn't escape with one baby or whatever? What's that? Her family would have been killed?
So why is she playing games with her son's life as well as theirs? Because Ozai didn't hesitate to kill his father - why would he hesitate to be petty enough to kill off everyone she cares about down to the last squalling infant? Oh, right he wouldn't unless it was a plot point...
Ugh. Now I'm starting to feel the Ursa hate - and no that isn't victim blaming... I'm not saying she deserved to be terrorized in her home. I am saying she had no right to screw people over just because she was trying to score a point against the lunatic she should have been busy poisoning the hell out of.