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Author Topic: The first Airbender [PG13]=[Book 2]=[Chapter 13 released !!!]  (Read 23296 times)
cpt_data
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79198724
« on: Jun 08, 2008 08:37 am »

=================================
--- Things you have to know *updated* ---
=================================

This is my very first attempt for a fanfic. The story itself is originally written by me in german, but this one is the translated one. It's not released yet at any other page, so it's exclusively on ASN. If you find any typos / grammar issues, feel free to pm me, I am going to fix them ASAP.

## Announcement ##
From now on, the first 10 chapters (without the prologue) are part of The first Airbender - Book I - The Shadow.

At Sunday, 13 July, I am going to release the last chapter of this book. After that chapter I'll take a break for 2 or 3 weeks to write the next chapters (which are using stuff from the canon!finale) and to fix issues with the already released ones.

NEW: If you're able to read and understand german, my fanfic (extended version) is now available on ff.net.
WARNING: For security reasons, it's rated M -> possible violent scenes
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4429475/1/Avatar_Der_Erste_Luftb_ndiger


o)===<<[ Current Betareaders ]>===(o
Primary Betareader: --- Kataang1337
Secondary Betareader: --- Rava
Other Betareaders (not regulary): Kalandri (Chapter 3)


"Canon-Fanfic" - inofficial sequel
AtlA is finished. We laughed, we cried, we all have seen the epic finale.
It's amazing, although I never read the spoiler book, how close my fanfic IS currently. I just have to fix some minor problems like Pakku+Kana wedding, adding the Turtlelion, one of the Kataang-moments.

I'll update this fanfic soon and long before I am going to release Chapter 11. Chapter 11 will be the first one of Book 2, that will possibly have more than 10 chapters. Also, I know already how many chapters this fanfic will have one day: around 40, possible even more. Yes, I know, that's much work. But such an amazing show like AtlA, that came to such an epic end, deserves a story that continues the advanture of Aang, Katara, Sokka, Toph and Zuko. I hope I can do this. I really hope I can write a fanon-sequel of our beloved show.

PG13 WARNING!
This fanfic WILL have some more intense moments, especially Kataang and some semi-violent scenes. Any intense chapters will have a WARNING-line at the very beginning. If you can't stand intense / violent scenes, feel free to skip those chapters. None of those scenes will be REALLY violent or intense, they WILL fit PG13.
Promise: No unnecessary violent scenes and no full blown sex scenes. I might hint it happened, but nothing more. Kataang is TOO beautiful / important for me to waste it on a stupid sex-story.
If you like such stories, go and search on yourself. I am not going do it for you.

KATAANG WARNING!
Is just a joke, there will NO WARNING-line for Kataang-chapters Cheesy. This story contains Kataang moments, they're important and will have their own storyarc. If you don't like Kataang, feel free to ignore my fanfic - but you'll miss something. Also the story contains Sukka. Tokka is a nice ship too, but I had to choose between them and I decided for Sukka. No offense against Tokka-fans Smiley

Sorry @ Zutarians, I will -NOT- add any Zutara moments in the story. After all there are enough Zutara stories in the internet, I don't see any use in adding a Zutara storyarc. It would make thinks way more complicated and it will cause some OOC-moments - and I hate OOC Smiley


Quote from: News --==08/12/08==--

- Released Chapter 9 @ 07/13/08 1:00 pm (CET) BOOK 1 -o- FINALE PART I
- Released Chapter 10 @ 07/14/08 2:15 pm (CET) BOOK 1 -o- FINALE PART II
- Updated / Removed Spoilertags @ 07/20/08 04:15 (CET)
- Replaced scenes in Chapter 3 and Chapter 6, minor update @ 07/22/08 03:10 pm (CET)
- Book 1 finished
- Released Intermezzo 1 @ 08/12/08 2:15 pm (CET)
- Released Chapter 11 @ 08/20/08 4:15 pm (CET)
- Released Chapter 12 @ 09/29/08 8:35 am (CET)
- Released Chapter 13 @ 10/26/08 2:00 pm (CET)




_____The first Airbender_____
________Return of the Airnomads________


o--==[ Prologue: Aang's Questions ]==--o

Ancient. I feel ancient.

Aang opened the huge gate to the inner sanctum of the air temple by airbending. When he was here first, he did it together with his friends Katara and Sokka. This was the very place were he first met Avatar Roku. And here Aang realized, he was the last one of the airnomads. His old mentor was killed here, surrounded by dozens of firebenders.
But this was years ago. Today, Aang was here to speak one more time with Avatar Roku, to ask him serious questions, which were still in his mind. Aang was 96 years old, his life was at its end, he felt it. But before he would leave the mortal world, he wanted to know if he was a worthy Avatar, if he had fulfilled his destiny.

Aang sat in front of Avatar Roku's statue, he folded his hands for the meditation and closed his eyes. His breath was low, the clouds in his thoughts disappeared, his spirit was ready. He saw the picture of the last Avatar before his inner eyes, a high grown, dignified man with a long, white beard. Avatar Roku.

"Aang ... it has been a long time since we last met." said Roku. He sounded a bit amused. Yes, of course, Aang was the Avatar many years longer than Roku.
"I know, Roku, because I thought all of my questions were gone a long time ago. But today, something changed. I have questions. Was I a worthy Avatar? Did I fulfil my destiny? And did I restored the balance of the world? Roku, I need your help!"
Roku smiled. He went around Aang, scrutinizing him. "Aang, you ask me three of the serious, the grand questions." He waited. Roku looked directly in Aang's eyes, his sharp glance was difficult to bear by Aang.
"I fear, I can not answer those questions, Aang, because it's your final task. Although I can help you find the right path, you have to go to find the answers, you still have to find the answers on your own." Roku closed his eyes, releasing Aang.

"What do I have to do?" Aang felt like he was the young boy again, when he first met Roku. He felt unsure, all years he lived on this world seemed to fade away. Aang looked at himself, surprisingly, he didn't appear like an old man. He looked much younger in the spirit world, maybe around 30 years.
Finally, Roku continued: "You'll go to a trip to your own past, you'll see important events, those which shaped you and the world, again. I can help you to find those events. Although they will not give you the answers for your questions, they'll help you answer those questions by yourself."
Aang was irritated. Why do I look so young? Why do I feel so young?

"You already made the very first step to answer your questions, Aang." Roku smiled contented.
"You show yourself as your real self, not your appearance in the real world. This is just an illusion, only for the short time in the mortal world. But your appearance in the spirit world is something you choose, and you made the right choice. As I can see, the appearance you've chosen is the very same as it was when you were at your finest hour of your life."
Again, Roku waited for a few seconds.

"Aang, before we'll go on that trip to your past, I want to tell you one last thing. After our return, you'll meet someone important. This person had a major role - if not THE major role - in your life.Together with this person you'll also meet most of thefriends that you've made in your life, all who left the mortal world years ago. They will help you answer one of your questions. But now, it's time to travel ..."

Roku vanished. The view changed and Aang found himself on the back of Appa, his sky bison. In front of him there was a young man sleeping - Aang's younger self! He way much younger, maybe 17 and the older Aang realized where he was. The war was over, 4 year ago it ended. His younger self was on the way to Ba Sing Se to finish his spiritual trip. 4 long years he travelled alone, without the support of his friends. Just to clear his mind, to learn more about himself and to help to rebuild the world. Soon, Aang will have to make some important decisions. Decisions with huge impact, lasting for many centuries in the future ...



- Fixed some typos, thanks to Rava.
- Fixed some grammar issues, again thanks to Rava.
- Fixed more grammar issues, thanks to LoneDruid.
« Last Edit: Oct 26, 2008 07:00 am by cpt_data » Logged

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Fanfic: The first Airbender [10/26/08] --> UPDATE <--


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« Reply #1 on: Jun 08, 2008 04:56 pm »

Wow, your style is so intense. Can't wait to read more. And your plot idea is great.

Let me guess? The important person is Katara?
« Last Edit: Jun 08, 2008 05:52 pm by Rava » Logged

yours Rava

Keeper of Aang's Vision of Toph - Iroh's Spirit World sight - Toph's badgermole kiss - Lion turtle's chanting ---  Smiley
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« Reply #2 on: Jun 09, 2008 06:36 am »

Ohh, you knocked my teeths out. This is.. is... this is... A-mazing!! Shocked
I wonder what would happen the next time! Keep up writing!! Wink
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« Reply #3 on: Jun 09, 2008 07:25 am »

Flameo, sir, flameo. That was made of pure awesomness.
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cpt_data
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79198724
« Reply #4 on: Jun 11, 2008 03:18 am »

Ladies and Gentlemen: Chapter 1. I hope you enjoy it.

Plz feel free to send me a PM to correct any typos / grammar issues in my text. Thanks Smiley



_____The first Airbender_____
________Return of the Airnomads________

o(--==[ Book 1: The Shadow ]==--)o
o--==[ Chapter 1: A journey ends ]==--o

Appa growled, he was tired. Between Aang's bundles, Momo seeked for a quiet place to rest, it had been a long day. Aang decided to land on a glade of the forrest below him. After the night, they would continue their journey to their destination.
Aang jumped off, started a small fire and meditated, he had to reflect about a lot of things.

I never wanted to be the Avatar

I never wanted to be the Avatar, but that's what I am.


Aang had this thought for a long time. Yes, he was the Avatar, the reincarnation of the world's spirit. Guru Pathik had helped him to accept who and what he was. His destiny was predefined, something, that burdens Aang. True, the war was ended, but the balance of the world was not restored. Many scars left by the war were not fully healed yet. And some of them, like the scar on Aang's back, will never vanish. The dragons were almost extinct. Appa was the last of the sky bisons. And Aang himself was the last air nomad.

His thoughts were restless, Aang took a deep breath of air.

How can I restore the balance of the world, when it's impossible?

It is not impossible or I hadn't been recovered from that iceberg.

But what if I had not been recovered?

Then the Fire Nation would have won the war four years ago.

Why was I freed not years before? I could have needed that additional time to learn the other arts of bending.

Because it needed the destiny of two beings to free me.


Maybe that was the point. Sokka thought it was just a coincidence. Katara and he were on a fishing trip and they had an argument about something. Katara lost control of her emotions and unwittingly bended the frozen water of the iceberg in which Aang was trapped.

Then it was ordained to me to survive the war frozen in ice, to end it finally.

And Katara was the very one who saved me. As if it was her destiny.

So it is possible to restore the balance of the world.

Because I was rescued by Katara.

Kana said, Katara's and my destinies were connected together. Even now? Is Katara more than just ...


Aang startled. Something had interrupted his meditation, his thoughts were silenced. But it was just Momo. The small lemur was awake and jumped from Appa, directly landing on Aang's Head.

"Momo! Wheew, you scared me! Seems you are hungry, aren't you?" Aang looked for a bite in his bundle and handed it to Momo. Aang himself refused to eat something, he wasn't hungry. He decided to sleep, it was late already. Tomorrow they would have to get up early, the end of their journey was near. Ba Sing Se, the great city of the Earthkingdom, was their destination. A good friend lived there and Aang hoped, his friend could give him some advice.

The sun was still below the treetops when Aang woke up.The campfire was out and Momo was jumpy. Aang packed his bundle and took seat on Appa. The giant flying bison was still tired, but at least he was awake.
"Yip! Yip!" said Aang loudly and Appa, still slowly, flew. Aang saw the huge walls of the city at the horizon and he knew, he would arrive in Ba Sing Se afternoon. Then, his long journey would finally end.

Hours were passing and the sun crossed it's zenith already and they reached the walls of Ba Sing Se. As the Avatar, Aang didn't need a permission to enter the city, it was at his will to come and go whenever he wanted. Even the house, he used with his friends years ago, was still available to him. Being the Avatar comes with some advantages sometimes, thought Aang. But his house was not Aang's destination, instead, he was going to visit his old friend, owner of a highly recommended tea house. The Jasmine Dragon was the best tea house in Ba Sing Se. And Iroh was it's owner. The former heir of the throne, general of the Fire Nation, brother of the last Phoenix King and uncle of the current Fire Lord, Zuko, lived here to spend the last days of his life in peace and harmony.

Aang landed Appa next to the Jasmine Dragon and entered it through an impressive sliding door.
The house was well frequented.  Two waiters went quickly from guest to guest, serving tea or cleaning up. And at the far side of the huge room, there was an old man with long, grey hair and beard behind the bar: Iroh.
Iroh smiled after he recognized his newest guest: "Good to see you again, Avatar Aang." Aang returned the greetings and smiled too. "It's a pleasure for me too. I'd like to have a cup of your famous ginseng tea ... and I need your advice, Iroh."

The former general guided Aang to a small, comfortable room. Some silk seat cushions were placed on the floor, a low tea table which doubled as a Pai Sho game was in the centre of the room. Iroh served Aang a cup of tea.

Iroh took a seat. "Now, how can I help you?" Aang relaxed when he tasted his tea. "I am not sure, if you can help me, Iroh. The last years helped me to bring order in my thoughts. But I still have doubts. Each time I meditate, I can hear me arguing with myself in my head ... and I can't end this discussion. Whenever I believe I've found an answer for the question if it's possible to restore the balance of the world, that discussion starts again."

I never wanted to be the Avatar

Iroh nodded. "My nephew Zuko had a similar problem. His spirit was divided into two parts, both were fighting each other. He almost lost his mind. Your conflict is not exactly of the same kind. You're questioning your destiny, the grand plan of the world."
"You think I have to realize why I am arguing with myself?"

How can I restore the balance of the world, when it's impossible?

"Indeed, Aang. It was a specific decision that initiated the struggle of my nephew and another one that ended his crysis. He realized what he had to do. Your crysis is a little bit different. It was not a single event that caused your inner conflict. You had plenty of time to think and you've found a inconsistence you can't define."

It is not impossible or I hadn't been recovered from that iceberg.

Aang took a sip of his tea and nodded: "Yes. I ask myself why I was freed at this very moment to end the war. I wonder why I returned to the world if it's not possible to restore the balance of the world - and I answer myself, it must be possible or I wouldn't have returned."

It needed the destiny of two beings to free me.

"Hmmm. Aang, I would say you answered your questions by yourself already. It is not impossible. Yes, some things will not return. The dragons or the sky bisons are gone for good, you can't save them. But this is not the inconsistence. The world will survive without dragons and bisons. But you worry about the Airnomads, because you know the world's balance will never be restored without them. You think, you're the last of the air nomands, but that's just only a half of the truth."

Aang looked in Iroh's face. "I don't understand. I AM the last Airbender. There is no other truth, no other half of the medal!"
The former general lowered his voice, it was little more than a whisper: "You are the last of the Airnomads. And you are the FIRST one. This is the WHOLE truth."

Both waited silencly.

The first of the Airnomads. This explains why it needs the destiny of two beings to free me ... because it also needs the destiny of two beings to fulfil this task. But that does mean ...

"Katara!" Aang had spoken loudly this name while finishing his thoughts. Iroh looked irritated. "Katara freed me from that iceberg at the time. Kana, her grandmother, believed our destinies were somehow connected. I never took that too serious, but later, when I met Guru Pathik to learn how to control the avatar state, I realized something." Aang blushed. "I never told someone what Pathik said to me, Iroh. I learned more about this strong connection between Katara and me. The love I had for the Airnomads was not destroyed with the end of them. It was reborn as new love for Katara."

Iroh nodded again and drank from his tea. "Do you remember when I said it was a wise decision to chose love and to refuse the power the avatar state would had given you?"
"Yes. And when I left this path, I almost died." Aang's face had a painful expression. Everytime he remembered, his scar, left by Azula's lightning, ached. He would never forget the piercing pain in his chest when he was violently torn out of the avatar state and everything becomes dark around him. Aang attempted to let Katara go - and was punished for doing so.
But it a second chance was given to him: Katara resurrected him. As soon as he opened his eyes again, the love for Katara was renewed too. The strong connection between Katara and him was still there, even after his narrow death.

The old general saw when the irritation faded out of Aang's face. "You answered any of your questions by yourself, Aang. You can now see your path and what you have to do." Iroh smiled satisfied and opened a small chest that was hidden under the tea table. "I am sure you heard about Pai Sho? Shall we have a game to relax?"
Aang smiled too and remembered when he played it with Monk Gyatso. He had lost the game every single time, but his skill had increased with every game. "Of course!" Aang took the chest and counted the pieces. "The guest has the first turn!" declared Iroh. And Aang took a piece and remembered one of the favourite moves of his old mentor. Iroh realized, Aang had placed the "white lotus" right in the centre of the board ...


- Thanks to Rava for betareading chapter 1
- Fixed some typos found by myself
- Thanks to LoneDruid ... more serious issues fixed.
« Last Edit: Jul 22, 2008 06:44 am by cpt_data » Logged

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Fanfic: The first Airbender [10/26/08] --> UPDATE <--


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« Reply #5 on: Jun 11, 2008 08:54 am »

What a intense chapter [towards the following comment: meaning intense as in intense impact on the reader. The style itself is as Kalandri wrote clarity, but that does not mean it cannot be intense to read. That's a different kettle of fish].
I like your approach, it is not the usual "now is 5 years after the war and X and Y are married and have 1 child and A and B are together but..." <- I will not say that such a approach cannot make a great story. Bout yours is awesome deviant Grin

I am thrilled to read on Grin
« Last Edit: Jun 12, 2008 10:49 pm by Rava » Logged

yours Rava

Keeper of Aang's Vision of Toph - Iroh's Spirit World sight - Toph's badgermole kiss - Lion turtle's chanting ---  Smiley
Quote from: Fishfood1
you're the king of yuri on ASN
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« Reply #6 on: Jun 12, 2008 09:51 pm »

Intense? I see clarity, not intensity.

What you have here is a no-nonsense style of description in the active voice being rattled off with no remorse.

Very nice.
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cpt_data
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« Reply #7 on: Jun 14, 2008 01:58 pm »

Seems Kataang becomes a little bit more important than I thought.
Originally this and the next chapter were one, but it became too big, so I seperated it to two chapters. I am going to release the third chapter next week (either Wednesday or Thursday).
It'll be the only chapter for next week because I'll have to write 3 difficult tests (engineering-school) ... so be patient.

BEWARE: some emotions in this one ... and it's PG13 for sure. Same for next one.

Hope you enjoy it Smiley



_____The first Airbender_____
________Return of the Airnomads________

o(--==[ Book 1: The Shadow ]==--)o
o--==[ Chapter 2: Reunion ]==--o

"And this trick Suki taught me." Sokka jumped, turned around his own axis and ended his demonstration with a single, powerful kick against the dummy. The warriors of the Southern Watertribe nodded impressed. The chief's son had become a capable warrior, he was able to handle most weapons and even without armament he was still a dangerous fighter. It was inevitable Hakoda honoured his son by calling him as the tribe's champion. Training the warriors was Sokka's contribution to rebuild the Southern Watertribe.

His sister Katara had dedicated herself to waterbending. As a master she and Master Pakku trained the young waterbenders of her tribe, the very first born gifted Waterbenders of their tribe.
She tried to cover her feelings, but Katara felt sometimes a deep sadness in her heart. She hadn't seen Aang for four years. Although he sent some letters, she was never able to answer him, none of her letters reached Aang. He was like a true nomad, never stayed longer than a few days at the same spot. The young Airnomad never told her when he would return, and she was not able to ask him.

Sokka came across and watched her while she was tutoring her students. "Push ... and pull. Now pull! That's right, you all made it!" said Katara. Her students were natural gifted and some of them were able to show her more advanced forms. "Hey Sokka! Do you want to learn something about bending?" Katara smiled and her students laughed. It was no secret: Sokka was a little bit jealous on their bending power, even if he never would confirm that.
"No, no, I don't need any magic power - I've got this!". Sokka showed them one of his two meteorite swords. "Waterbending is not magic, Sokka, you know!" Katara laughed, formed with a quick move a small snowball and threw it at Sokka, directly hitting him in his face.

"Aaagh! This means War!" yelled Sokka and threw a few snowballs at her while he was laughing too. After a few minutes there was a snowball fight going. Sokka found some allies for his cause, a few non-bender kids and so they created a defensive wall. Katara on her side had her students, ready to fight. Sokka peeked over his wall. "Okay, men ... you know the drill. When I give you the sign, I want you throwing as much snowballs at possible. Don't think they can catch any of the balls by waterbending, so ... make ready! One ... Two ... huhh?! What the ..." - Sokka stopped midway in his sentence ...

While Sokka tried to make his "army" ready to fight, Katara sat between her students, laughing: "Sokka thinks he's smart when covering himself with that defensive wall. But it's made off snow, and snow is just frozen water. And you know what that means!" The students nodded and showed her their push-and-pull-movement. Katara gave the signal and they bent the snow of Sokka's wall ...

"You gonna pay for that one!" - a mad, but laughing snowman went to Katara. "Sokka, I will let you win next time... honestly" she promised with a smirk. A short bending move later and the snow disappeared from Sokka. Suddenly, she looked irritated as if something was wrong. "What is it? Katara?"
"No ... I can feel something ... it's different. And it's as if something is calling me." She had those feelings the last time when she said good bye to a good friend, years ago.

"Is ... is this Aang up there?" Sokka couldn't see anything, but Katara seemed to see something at the horizon. A small dot, that became quickly bigger - and finally shaped to Appa. Aang has returned!

Finally the huge sky bison landed and Aang jumped off.
Sokka greeted Aang watertribe-stylish. She stands slightly behind her brother and watched the new arrival.

He has become mature ... and slightly taller than me.

Katara smiled and took a step to Aang. "It has been a long time ..." She had tears in her eyes. "I know ..." answered Aang smiling - and hugged her. They were united after a long time again and so they stood there for a small eternity.

"I thought you would never release each other." Sokka smirked. "I didn't want ..." Aang was happy, the first time after ages. The family was reunited. And he was with Katara, the very girl he loved. When she was near him, Aang could barely control his feelings for her.

---

At evening the three friends sat together. Aang told, what he experienced on his journey and Katara and Sokka listened interested.
"... and then I visited Omashu. They rebuilt the city and King Bumi is ruling again in his newly built palace ..." Aang closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He lowered his voice: "But I was alone all the time. I missed my friends, I missed you."
"Why didn't you came back earlier?" wondered Sokka.
"I ... I couldn't. It was a spiritual journey, one I could do only alone. There is more than just bending all four elements when being the Avatar."
"All those years? Aang, if Toph were here, she would feel you're hiding something."

Aang nodded and smiled sadly: "I have to ask you something. I've got a new task, a new destiny to fulfill or the balance of the world will not be restored. That's what I learned on my journey, and I am here to ask you for your help. I need you!"
An uneasy silence suddenly spread out in the tent.
Katara was the first who broke the silence: "Aang, we would come with you, ..."
"... but we have our duties here. Katara is tutoring Waterbenders and I train the warriors." ended Sokka the sentence.
There was disappointment written in Aang's face. He couldn't say anything because he hadn't even thought they could refuse his request. Were his friends disappointed because he didn't visited them for years? Or were their duties so important they couldn't ignore them?

What did I thought? Suddenly I reappear in their lives again and demand them to let things go just to follow me on my mission! Stupid!

"But I can't finish my mission without you! Katara, Gran Gran said once something about our connection. It's still true, it's part of that task!" Aang's voice was filled with despair.
"No, Aang." Katara's voice was quiet, barely to hear, but Aang heard her deep sadness. "We can't come with you. I am sorry."
Aang got up. He looked in the faces of his friends and left the tent without any words. He wasn't able to do so. Tired and disappointed Aang found his way to his tent and tried to sleep.
Before he felt to an uneasy sleep, Aang hoped his friends may change their mind. They were not aware how much he needed them. How much he needed Katara ...

"You will die!" yelled a dark, chilly voice, filled with hatred. "You will die and I'll have fulfilled my destiny!"
Aang couldn't see who it was, but the voice was curiously a familiar one. He saw someone, barely, maybe a dark shadow, surrounded by a creepy shine, the very one with the voice speaking to him.
The scene changed. Aang was on a large construction, maybe a bridge, spanning over a huge rift. He was alone, but there was the shadow again, right in front of him. Again the shadow talked: "Here your life ends. You've failed!" The young Avatar felt as he lost control over his body. His arms shaped a very particular figure and small bolts were crackling over his hands. Finally a large lightning left his fingertips. The shadow squealed and felt over.
A sharp pain abruptly stung Aang right into his chest as if he were hit by something. But there was no wound visible, just the brutal agony. He could barely breath, it felt as if he lost all of his vitality at once. With the last of his strength he crawled to the shadow in front of him. Before he would die he wanted to see who his enemy was.
Aang looked in his enemy's face ... and was horrified. He saw Katara's face, her eyes were dimmed but still alive.
"Why did you kill me?"




Thanks @ Rava for betareading. Hope most typos / grammar issues are fixed in this one Smiley
Thanks @ LoneDruid -> additional issues fixed (grammar problems and a few typos)
« Last Edit: Jul 22, 2008 06:54 am by cpt_data » Logged

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Fanfic: The first Airbender [10/26/08] --> UPDATE <--


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« Reply #8 on: Jun 14, 2008 03:28 pm »

Ahh the roller coaster ride of emotions. Grin
Poor Aang. Poor Katara, she is surely not happy for rejecting him. I am anxious to read on Grin
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« Reply #9 on: Jun 15, 2008 06:02 pm »

ZOMG foreshadowing!

Delicious.
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« Reply #10 on: Jun 15, 2008 11:21 pm »

Shocked Poor Aang
I seriously hope that dream wasn't any foreshadowing...*shivers*
Next chapter please...I can't wait!
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« Reply #11 on: Jun 16, 2008 01:06 am »

Wow, that story is amazing! I love the unique way of doing the " after the war" premise. There are a few typos but that's just because of the language difference. If you ever need a betareader/typofixer just PM a chapter to me and I'd be glad to help (reading these early are their own reward).

AM
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« Reply #12 on: Jun 16, 2008 04:02 pm »

A story with real depth, starting in the past and reaching forward with an easy, bearable pace. Irony is that Aang knows all the answers, but is unaware of this even into his old age. He realizes that he needs Katara, that his destiny has been tied to hers intricatly. You illustrate this beautifully, and the unending loop of his self-argument makes this realization all the more profound. Only his reactions confuse me. What was he intending to ask Katara? There is only one way to restart the Airbenders. This sense that they must  immediately get-together confuses me. I wonder why he does'nt do this in an easier manner, wait a while... I suppose you will answer this in following chapters. Dispit this 10 out of 10.
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« Reply #13 on: Jun 16, 2008 08:29 pm »

The first chapter had me hooked; but the next two have made me inseparable from reading on! Smiley

I love your overall descriptions and faithfulness to keeping the characters in-character (all while elaborating on their personalities by your gifted prose), course, seeing Sokka and Katara (initially, mayhap? Wink) disagree to helping Aang is a lovely show of how, despite their friendship, the years of Aang's absence and them rebuilding their home has left quite the gap.

While I won't hold it against you if Toph doesn't make an appearance/cameo, I'm glad you didn't forget to mention her, as the Gaang ain't the Gaang without a nod to all five members (yeah, yeah, I consider Zuko among them!).

Can't wait to see how the next chapter goes down! Cheesy
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« Reply #14 on: Jun 18, 2008 04:15 pm »

Ouch. That was really hard work, I had to sit hours just for that small dialogue between Katara and Sokka. I think I'll have a small break after that one, because I am still writing at chapter 4 and it's a really difficult one, because it will introduce "new" (well known) characters and a new storyarc.

Thanks @ Kalandri for betareading it (sorry @ Rava, but you wasn't available). I know it was difficult, because my english is not really the best one (need more practice with the "living" english -> vacation in GB / USA or so) and those tenses are really pesky sometimes Wink

Important: some of you might realize chapter 3 is written in AE instead of BE. I am going to convert the existing chapters to AE too, but I could use some help, because I was teached BE only in my school. I know there are some important differences between those versions of english and I just don't want to have two different types of english in just one story.
So feel free to PM me: just tell me the line where I should fix issues / convert BE to AE and I'll do it the next time I am online Smiley Thanks.


Chapter modified!
Katara's dream at the very end of this chapter has been replaced with a dream that fits to the ending of the series.


BTW: And do not blame me for YOUR thoughts Grin Whatever you might think, it's YOUR imagination, not mine.
Story is STILL below PG13.



_____The first Airbender_____
________Return of the Airnomads________

o(--==[ Book 1: The Shadow ]==--)o
o--==[ Chapter 3: Moments of truth ]==--o

It was still night when Aang woke up, bathed in sweat. Ever since he defeated the Phoenix King, his nightmares were gone. But now? Aang was sure; it was a horribly distorted vision. All of his former nightmares had contained at least a bit of truth, some kind of prophecy...
"Why did you kill me?"
This one picture was still in his mind. Was it his fault that Katara died in his nightmare? Aang had lost control of his body, he had to see how the shadow in front of him was killed by lightning, bended by his own hands... and when he looked to see who it was, he saw Katara's face.

Aang got up. A walk, alone, would possibly help him ease his worries.
The night was not old yet and he had no need to be hasty. He would stay here for one or two additional days before he had to leave; his new destination was the Southern Air Temple. Of course, Aang hoped his friends would change their minds, and he had to give them more time to do so.

Katara, why did you do this to me? Why did you refuse; why don't you want to travel with me? Is this my fault? Did I overestimate our relationship?

"Aang?"
The young airbender heard Katara's voice. She couldn't sleep either. He turned to her and was surprised to see how close she was.
"Katara ..."
They looked at each other. Katara was even more beautiful when illuminated by the moonlight. She shyly tried to avoid his eyes.
"Aang ... I'm sorry."
"No ... it's not your fault, it's mine. I'm sorry I hadn't visited you in four years."
"Aang, no, I'm sorry about what I said yesterday ..."
"Please, Katara, don't say that. It was my fault; I didn't need to request your aid."
Aang looked down ashamed. It was difficult to talk. "I wasn't honest, Katara."

"What did you mean by that?" Katara was irritated.
"I could have stopped my journey ... at any point. But ... I didn't."
"Why ... why not?"
Aang sighed. It was even more difficult to tell her the truth than he thought. It was even more complicated; his feelings for her distracted him.
"Because I feared to meet you again ... just to lose you once more."
Katara was seriously baffled now. What was Aang trying to tell her? What happened?

"In the last few years I've changed ... I am no longer that little goofy kid that defeated the Phoenix King. Katara, I don't know if I am still the same person you loved."
He smiled sadly. Yes, it was the truth. Aang was not only older now, he was also wiser and more pensive. "And when you turned 16, I feared you would marry someone... else. I couldn't bear that thought, Katara."
"You ran away ..." Her voice was disappointed, and a single tear was visible on her cheek.
"Yes ..." Aang felt intensely ashamed. He was a coward, he ran away from his only love, his "forever girl" because he feared he could lose her.
"Do you really know me that little? Do you really think I would forget you, after all we went through? I ... I can't believe ..." Katara stopped mid-sentence. She cried.

Aang came closer and embraced her.
" ... Four long years ... why?" she whispered, barely audible in his ear. " ... I missed you so badly ..." He tried to fight his emotions - and surrendered like she did.
"I'm never going to let you go, Katara. I promise." He kissed her tenderly and she kissed him back. For a small eternity they stood there, unable to release themselves. All of their feelings, all the powerful love that piled up, erupted at once. Katara couldn't remember the last time she was so entirely happy in the last four years. She wouldn't let him leave her ever again; and she would follow him, wherever he went. Aang was now way more important to her than any worldly duties.

When they finally ended their embrace, Katara looked deeply into Aang's eyes. And he understood.
They went back to Aang's tent and spent the rest of the night together.

--o--

Sokka drove himself to his limits. Every morning he would rigorously exercise, and it was worthwhile. Almost no warrior from his village could compete with him, except Bato or his father Hakoda. But it was their experience, not their strength or talent that gave them an edge. His father was sure Sokka would become a worthy fighter one day and would take his place as chief of the Southern Water Tribe.

"We have to talk."
Sokka was thrown out of his concentration, barely missed the training dummy with his sword and tumbling. "Ouch! ... what the ... what is it?"
Katara giggled, despite the turbulent feelings she had.
Sokka got up and wiped the snow from his clothes.
"What is it, Katara --" Sokka stopped mid-sentence when he saw her face. She was sad, but there was something else. He couldn't quite place what it was... was it guilt?
"This isn't that what I think... Katara... is it Aang? Did you..."
Katara nodded awkwardly.
"I never thought he would..." Sokka was angry and hurt. He felt betrayed. He thought Aang was his best friend -- and now this. Aang had returned and he couldn't even wait a few days. This is wrong! They weren't even married!

Aang... you used her! How dare you?!

"Sokka... please don't blame Aang for what happened," she whispered. "I... I wanted it..."
Sokka relaxed a little bit. But he was still angry at Aang.

Why didn't he just said "No"?

"We met last night. Aang had a horrible nightmare and he couldn't sleep. He told me the truth, Sokka. He told me why he wasn't here, why he didn't visit us. We embraced and... and then... it happened."
"I understand... but don't you feel guilty? At all?" Sokka visibly relaxed, his anger for Aang had disappeared, but his frustration remained.
"I just... I don't know..." Katara despaired. "Everything has changed..."

Sokka tried to think about what he learned. His sister and his best friend had surrendered to their feelings and didn't even think twice. Their tribe was more tolerant than the Northern Water Tribe. But even here they had some important traditions: two lovers had to be betrothed before they were allowed to have a... more intimate affiliation. Without knowing it, Aang had offended against their rites, even if Katara wanted to do so. But Sokka didn't want to blame his sister. He couldn't.

Without saying a single word, Sokka hugged his sister.
"Katara ... I don't know if it helps, but you'll learn to understand your feelings eventually." Sokka wisely chose his words, each and every one could make the difference between a happy and a shattered relationship. "I hope Aang will eventually realize what he did. Either he asks you for forgiveness... or he'll give you the necklace to release you from your doubts."
Katara looked at him with an asking expression, but she couldn't say a word. Sokka kept silent. There were no words to fit this situation, no sentence that would had helped. Katara had to make her decision, she had to give herself time to explore her feelings. And she had to give Aang enough time to realize his mistake.

"If you want, I won't say a breath of a word to Aang." Sokka promised. Katara looked at him and nodded. She still wasn't able to speak -- she was too irritated and her feelings were in turmoil. It seemed to take endless moments before she collected herself and left the village. She wanted to be alone for a while. There was much Katara had to think of.

Why didn't you ask me? Why didn't you ask me that one question, the very one that's so important to me?

Sokka stayed behind; he was thinking. His relationship with Suki was never that difficult, despite the distance between the South Pole and Kyoshi Island. He had visited her whenever it was possible. It was just a few weeks ago when he left her to return to his tribe after he stayed there for the entire spring. They had spent almost the whole time together, and before he had to leave, he gave Suki a betrothal necklace; it was traditional. She accepted... and spent Sokka's last night with him. But neither he nor Suki had experienced any guilt. It felt so right... he decided for her... he had asked, and so, any doubts were removed. Suki was Sokka's one and only love.
In a few months he would return to her and they had to make plans about where to live in the future. The Island was a nice place, but Sokka was unsure if he would be able leave his tribe. He was the son of chief Hakoda, and it was expected that he would take his place as the chief one day.

--o--

Late in the evening the three friends sat together again. Sokka seemed to notice an emotional distance between Katara and Aang. They were trying to avoid any eye contact, and when they failed, they would look shyly aside. It wasn't just Katara who was unsure; Aang seemed to have the same feelings. Sokka felt with him, he couldn't do anything else.
Aang ended the silence. "I'm leaving tomorrow." His voice was weak; a sad tone.
"And I'm coming with you." It was not Katara but Sokka who said this. "You might need my help out there."
Aang smiled a bit and turned to Katara. It was difficult; he had to force himself to look at her. He feared what she could say, he was afraid that she would refuse. She promised to follow him wherever he would go, but he was still unsure. Everything had changed, maybe even Katara's decision.
Her voice was barely more than a whisper when she spoke:
"I will go with you, Aang." Katara smiled shyly and glanced directly in Aang's eyes. The love they both shared was there, a bright light behind a curtain of doubt and confusion.

Later, when Aang returned to his tent, he wasn't able to fall asleep. He was alone and his tent felt too small. His mind was filled with thoughts about Katara and the expression in her eyes.

She's just as confused as I am. Why has everything become so difficult?

But he couldn't find an answer. Maybe he just needed more time. He uneasily shifted from one side to the other. When he finally closed his eyes and tried to ease his thoughts, he saw Katara's face.

--o--

Katara wasn't able to sleep either. Her thoughts were in turmoil. And when she finally fell asleep, the first picture she saw was Aang.

She smiled. It was a picture from happier days. After the end of war and Zuko's coronation to the new Fire Lord, the group had reunited one more time. They traveled to Ba Sing Se to visit Iroh's tea house, the Jasmine Dragon, and to relax - they all needed time to rest.
Aang left the tea house to watch the sunset and Katara followed him. She embraced him and was truly happy for the first time since her mother died. Now it was the right time, it was time to confess her love for him, and so, she kissed Aang with great pleasure.
Katara knew she had hurt him a few days before the final battle. She was confused, her love for him was strong, but she was unsure she could bear the loss of Aang if he would get killed by the hands of Fire Lord Ozai.
But now, the war was over, Ozai defeated and Aang was still alive. She was ready for him and his powerful, overwhelming love.
He looked at her with his grey eyes, which had seen so much mischief and violence, but were still untainted. "Let us walk." he said quietly. "Let us go to a place just for us alone."
She smiled when he took her hand and they went down the stairs. Aang led Katara along a street to a beautiful park with a small pool in the center.
Never before than in this very moment had they felt so close to each other.
They were together, dreaming and enjoying the company of each other. They were so young and naive, but despite their youth, they knew much more than many wise men on this world. Aang knew they were destined to live and love together, he knew it from the very first day they had met, although he was unable to explain how he knew all this. Katara felt the strong connection, the love, which exceeded anything that she had ever imagined. From the beginning she was more than just a good friend to him: she was Aang's guardian, she gave him hope and power to fulfill his duty. And now she was even more - his true Love.

A full moon enlightened the night and they looked in their eyes. Her fingers tenderly touched his face; she came closer until her lips touched his. It seemed as if this kiss lasted for a small eon, passion and love were timeless. When they ended the kiss, both felt a small, aching emptiness of loss in their hearts.

A few days later they left Ba Sing Se to travel to the South Pole and after two weeks they had finally reached their destination. The last night that Katara and Aang spent together, ended too soon.
"I will return, Katara, I promise." Aang's voice was quiet, he smiled, but he was unable to fully conceal his sadness; they would be separated several months.
"And I will wait here for you. Please, come back soon. There is something I wish more than anything." Katara came closer to Aang and kissed him on his cheek like she had done always to encourage him.
One more time he looked at her before he climbed onto Appa.

The huge sky bison ascended, became smaller and smaller until it was just a little dot in the horizon.
Katara fell on her knees, weeping.




- Fixed some issues - thanks to LoneDruid
« Last Edit: Jul 22, 2008 07:02 am by cpt_data » Logged

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« Reply #15 on: Jun 18, 2008 04:21 pm »

I'd say it's really good, but I kinda helped (re)write it so I might be a little biased Tongue

EDIT -- eh, now that I re-read it, I noticed I missed some things... but Rava is better than me.
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« Reply #16 on: Jun 18, 2008 08:47 pm »

Kataang! So beautifully written, especially the last part.

Nice work, Kalandri. I can't find any mistakes.
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« Reply #17 on: Jun 18, 2008 10:30 pm »

Chapter three was pretty good, I understand what he was going to ask now and his intentions. A real relationship was already there so he did'nt need to wait for Katara to get used to his being there. I could have predicted them meeting that night, but doing something... I never suspected that. Sokka's reception was perfect. At first he'd be angry,then a little frustrationed, and one day he'll be able to laugh about it. All because he can't imagine a better guy for his sister. I only wonder about two things, the dream and if Katara's pregnant. I wonder if I can call your style-germanic frankness.
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« Reply #18 on: Jun 18, 2008 11:11 pm »

Ohhhhh..... I like this story. Can't wait for more!
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« Reply #19 on: Jun 20, 2008 07:26 am »

this is really good. Smiley a great beginning for a (hopefully) great story.

I'm glad Sokka and Katara changed their minds. I hope we will get to see Toph and Zuko again, too.

carry on.
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« Reply #20 on: Jun 21, 2008 05:59 pm »

Yay! Lurve changes the minds of all!

Though, it'd be a riot if Sokka confronted Aang about the 'you and my sister' deal; yet, the Sukka-shipper in me squees madly for the engagement! Cheesy

I do wonder what'll go down on the way to/at/after the SAT, even if this might be Sokka's last adventure, what with the looming duties of chief....
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« Reply #21 on: Jun 22, 2008 06:05 pm »

Okay, here's another chapter. This time I've to add some "Warning-Tags" Wink
Thanks @ Rava for betareading.

! PG13 WARNING !
It's a little bit dark this time and some people will die (redshirt-type). It was difficult to write for me, because I am not that Zuko-fanboy, but I think that should do the trick.

Quote
Answers @ feedback

Chapter three was pretty good, I understand what he was going to ask now and his intentions. A real relationship was already there so he did'nt need to wait for Katara to get used to his being there. I could have predicted them meeting that night, but doing something... I never suspected that. Sokka's reception was perfect. At first he'd be angry,then a little frustrationed, and one day he'll be able to laugh about it. All because he can't imagine a better guy for his sister. I only wonder about two things, the dream and if Katara's pregnant. I wonder if I can call your style-germanic frankness.

Uhmmm ... I can't really say much right now because it could spoil the fanfic itself. But you're right, Sokka thinks Aang is the best guy for his sister, and that's why he's not too mad about what Aang did.

Which dream do you mean? The "good" one or the "nightmare" in chapter 2?
Both are important, but only one will affect the story in the future.
Pregnancy? I don't know yet. Hey, after all I wasn't there when they did it, so ... maybe Aang was a smart guy? *ehehehe* Grin

BTW: Nope, no germanic frankness or something. That's just me Wink


Yay! Lurve changes the minds of all!

Though, it'd be a riot if Sokka confronted Aang about the 'you and my sister' deal; yet, the Sukka-shipper in me squees madly for the engagement! Cheesy

I do wonder what'll go down on the way to/at/after the SAT, even if this might be Sokka's last adventure, what with the looming duties of chief....

Too bad I have no time to develop this ship too ... but I think it was important enough to mention it. After all, this is a story about Aang's Mission to bring back the airnomads and not "how Sokka became the daddy of 20 kids" Smiley

BTW: Sorry @ all those Tokka-shippers. I like both ships, Sukka and Tokka, but I had to decide. It was a hard decision, btw.


this is really good. Smiley a great beginning for a (hopefully) great story.

I'm glad Sokka and Katara changed their minds. I hope we will get to see Toph and Zuko again, too.

carry on.

Wish granted. The following chapter is a Zuko / Maiko-chapter. Too bad I can't really say if I am going to have Zuko in a more important role than right now. After all he's the Fire Lord and he can't just leave his throne to travel along with the Gaang. If I find a way I'll take it, but it's not very likely Sad

Toph will come back sooner or later, after all, she's an important part of the Gaang Wink



But enough now, here's chapter 4!


_____The first Airbender_____
________Return of the Airnomads________

o(--==[ Book 1: The Shadow ]==--)o
o--==[ Chapter 4: The darkest hour ]==--o

Fire Lord Zuko stood at the balcony, alone. It was four years ago, when he was coronated to the new Fire Lord and since that day, he did everything in his power to lead his nation through the difficult times after the war. The whole economy was centered on supporting the war and now, after the armies were disbanded and metal for regulary and more advanced weapons was no longer needed, numerous blacksmiths and manufacturers had lost most of their income.

Meanwhile Zuko spent most time to solve diplomatic conflicts. The Earthkingdom demanded reparation and removal of any colonies on their mainland, either by abandonment or by assimilation. Both Watertribes also demanded the release of any warprisoners.
It was a lot of displeasing business. But Zuko knew that, when he ended the war. He knew, the war had left deep scars the past onehundred years and it was his and his nation's duty to rebuild the world.
But this was nothing compared to the worries the young Fire Lord had. He was respected and beloved by the normal people, because he brought the armies back and the soldiers could return to their families. But the noblemen opposed him. Most of them had gained much power and influence when the war was going, both lost both, since the war was over. Most notably the governors which ruled the colonies or were destined to rule them, barely could hold back their aversion to the new Fire Lord.
It was just a matter of time when they would try something.

"I can feel your worries, Zuko." Mai came to him. "Mai ... it's nothing. Nothing I can't handle." Zuko smiled and looked at her. She was beautiful, a tall woman with a noble and pretty face that was completed by a slight, barely visible smiling.
"Ah, I'm sure. Are you hungry? The attendants have set the table already." Mai tenderly kissed Zuko and he followed her.

Zuko preferred a simple meal. His long time in exile, especially those last weeks in Ba Sing Se, had changed him. He wanted to remember the old times which shaped him to what he was now: a man, that did horribly wrong decisions, but at the very end, he did the right thing when he chose to join the Avatar. Mai however took not part in his self-imposed ascesis. She loved the luxury that was one of the advantages being the Fire Lord's wife.
They ate and chatted together. The daily business of the Fire Lord was not very interesting, but Mai spent much time outside the palace.
"... and then that herald gave me a letter from your uncle!" Mai showed Zuko the small letter. "Shall I read it to you?"
Zuko nodded and Mai smiled slightly. She unrolled the letter and started to read out.
"My dear nephew Fire Lord Zuko ..." Mai wiggled with her brows. Iroh had a very special talent: whenever he used Zuko's official title, he still sounded like the good old and gentle uncle he was.
"... I know, it's not easy to live with the burden of the title. It's a burden which is only surpassed by the one of the Avatar, but who said, being the Fire Lord is an easy task? Never give up, when the days become dark. Remember, who you are, you ..." Mai stopped. Even the least bit of color was vanished out of her face, her eyes were dim and with a loud gasp, she collapsed.
Zuko, horrified, ran to her and took her hand. Her hand was cold and Mai's breath was frail.
"No! NO! MAI!" Zuko yelled her name, but she showed no reaction. Somebody had harmed her, maybe by poisoning her meal or in her wine.
The young Fire Lord called a guard to get a healer. Hastily, Zuko returned to Mai. He took his gown to the floor and bedded Mai on it. She wasn't allow to die!
Zuko tried to warm her by embracing her. Her breath was weak and with every second her life seemed to leave her body. "Whoever did that to you will pay for it ... " He surrendered to his emotions and cried bitterly.

It seemed to take ages, but finally, a healer arrived. The old doctor hastily brought a bag full of elixirs and herbs and examined Mai. He felt her weak Chi with his competent hands. After a few seconds, he sadly shaked his head: "Fire Lord Zuko ... I am sorry. She's going to die from poison. I will do what I can to slow down her intoxication, but to heal her, we need a Waterbender with healing hands."
"Then do, what's in your power. I'll send someone to get a Waterbender." Zuko stood up. He remembered that there was a small delegation of diplomats of the Northern Watertribe in the city. A Waterbender, a young woman, was with them, maybe she could help.

--o--

The gruesome shadow following her since she was a young girl, appeared in front of her eyes. It was a dark entity, surrounded by a eerie glow and a deathly chill, talked in a strident voice: "End him! End his puny existence! Free the world from the plague known as the Avatar!"

Azula was horrified and realized where she was. She saw the familiar setting of her cell where she was imprisoned since the end of the war. Her hands were enchained so she could not bend. But even now, the guards feared her, her insanity in the last days of the war was widely known.
But all these months in her cell had helped Azula to control her madness; she suppressed her emotions and relied on her logical mind. But after all the efforts, the shadow was still there: it tortured Azula, night after night, sometimes even at daytime.

"You must destroy the Avatar!"

On every occasion this thought flared up, this obsession to end the Avatar.
Azula had defeated the Avatar once, but somehow he had survived her deadly lightning.
Shortly before Azula and her friends conquered Ba Sing Se, she faced the Avatar in a large hall of the old underground city. And when he went to the Avatarstate, she used this opportunity; she bent a lightning and the Avatar has fallen.
A short while after her nightmares began, a dark shadow appeared in her dreams. The shadow told her, the Avatar was still alive. But she has proven worthy to end him eventually. It was her destiny to end the Avatar Cycle, it was her task to free the world from the Avatar.
These were the first days of Insanity which were painfully suppressed by her.

"You must destroy him and the world will be free!

Azula cried. This cold voice replaced any of her thoughts, the troublesomely built walls of mental self control broke. She SAW the shadow as it appeared in her cell! Her worst nightmare, the very one entity that tortured her mind all these years, stood in front of her.
The shadow said nothing, but she could hear his words clearly in her mind.

"You will leave this prison soon. You will find the Avatar and destroy him!"

And with a single, short move the shadow went to her and penetrated her mind.
He was in control of her body, every movement, every thought of her was suppressed by his willpower. Azula's mind fought the intruder, but was too weak to win this battle. Finally she surrendered. She was defeated in her own body.

With inhuman power Azula destroyed the chains which constrained her hands for a long time. She tested her bending and she recognized her old power: blue fire left her fingertips and melted the steel of the cell door.

The unlucky guardsman that came running to check for the prisoner had no chance at all. Even before he could warn his comrades, he was struck by Azula's lightning. She showed no mercy, whoever crossed her path was doomed. When she finally reached the gate to her freedom, she pushed it up and glanced into the night. No moon was visible, the darkness was with her.
In a short moment she thought about visiting her brother to end him. But she decided to spare him - for now. The death of the Avatar had first priority. When the Avatar was destroyed she would have enough time to end her brother's puny life.
At that day she would become the new Fire Lord. Azula would start a new war to conquer the world for the Firenation and for herself.

--o--

The guard returned, followed by a young Waterbender. The Fire Lord sat, emotional broken, near his wife and held her hand. "Don't give up ... do not do this to me, Mai ..."
Finally the Waterbender examined Mai's forehead with her hands: "It was a wise decision to call me." she said earnestly. "I can help, but it'll take time to remove the poison out of her body."
She uncorked one of her flasks and bent shimmering water. Mai gasped and it seemed the color would return in her face. She opened her eyes and looked in Zuko's face.
Her voice was weak: "I am sorry, Zuko ..." He shaked his head and smiled with relief. "No - it wasn't your fault, Mai. There is nothing you have to be sorry about." Zuko kissed her tenderly.
"She needs to rest, Fire Lord Zuko." The young Waterbender prepared another flask of special water. Zuko looked at her and nodded; he left the room quietly.

Suddenly another guardsman appeared. "Fire Lord Zuko! Fire Lord Zuko! Our guards observed when someone left the prison just a few minutes ago. They went to the prison and checked who it was. But all they've found were dead guardsmen and the cell with Princess Azula was empty!"
"What? Azula - fled?" Zuko closed his eyes. This was indeed the darkest day of his life. Not even the Agni Kai with his own father followed by his banishment had him affected that bad than the events of today. Mai had barely survived an assassination and now his insane sister has broken out. Wanted she to usurp his throne? Without doubt, but then she would be here right now, ready to fight with him.
"Where is she now?" The young Fire Lord prepared himself for more bad news. "We don't know right now, but ..." the guardsman was interrupted. A young firebender, a corporal, hasted to Zuko. "Fire Lord! Princess Azula broke out! She fled through the eastern gate to the harbor! My men are dead and I would be too if she had seen me! She had ..." The corporal collapsed, overwhelmed by shock.

Azula had left the city. But why wasn't she after Zuko to fight him for the throne? Why had she fled without a single attempt to usurp the throne? There had to be another explanation.
Zuko thought about it. Maybe there was another possibility: the Avatar was in danger. He had to warn Aang, but Zuko could not leave Mai or the throne. The opposing noble men would use this opportunity to overthrow Zuko's reign. Frustrated by his lack of power in this bitter hour he decided to sent a hawk. Aang would be warned and he might have enough time to prepare himself to face Azula.
« Last Edit: Jul 22, 2008 07:04 am by cpt_data » Logged

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Fanfic: The first Airbender [10/26/08] --> UPDATE <--


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« Reply #22 on: Jun 22, 2008 08:26 pm »

No! Not Mai! Who could have poisned her? Did Uncle know about this somehow? What spirit has taken over Azula? Find out on the next episode of The first Airbender!

O_O lets pretend I didn't say that last part....
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« Reply #23 on: Jun 22, 2008 11:21 pm »

Ahhh the plot thickens. Good chapter, poor Mai. And also poor Azula, being possessed by some kind of demon is surely not nice at all...



now that I re-read it, I noticed I missed some things... but Rava is better than me.

O_o
That honestly can't be since I am no native tongue... and also more in BE than AE... Cheesy
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« Reply #24 on: Jun 23, 2008 02:50 am »

Very nice, I see the story taking a whole different turn than I'd imagined. It seemed a little strange though that Mai gets ill at the exact time that Azula escapes. This one thing makes me wonder about the nature of the shadow that overtook Azula. At first I thought it was just a figment of her sickened imagination but now I think it is a real and very dangerous spirit. Did this spirit conspire for the poisoning of Mai by use of another host and then gave Azula the will to free herself? Or is it simple conincedence? However the most important question is attached to the nightmare and the reasons Katara is eletrocuted. That question is:will Aang be possessed and if so will the creature be destroyed?
« Last Edit: Jun 23, 2008 08:59 am by tokogawa » Logged

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