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Author Topic: Typical (A very shippy fan fic.) Humor (pg13) *Chapter 28 up now!*  (Read 9813 times)
AzureArrow
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I ship AzureAang.

« on: Dec 08, 2007 01:26 am »

This is my first attempt at a fan fic, so please be kind!


               A Typical Morning

"Zutara!" I yelled as I pounded on the bathroom door. "Tara, open up! How long can it possibly take one person to fix a couple stupid hair loopies?"

"Don't let mom hear you say that." My older brother Tokka chimed as he walked past me into his room.

Every morning is a disaster at my house. One bathroom for nine people? Well I guess the baby doesn't count, but still, eight people and one bathroom? What were my parents thinking? I mean really! Who has seven kids? The Avatar, that's who.

First there's Zutara, the oldest, she's boy crazy. And she is very into her looks. Why she takes so long getting ready every morning is beyond me, everyone knows as soon as she gets to school that she cakes on more makeup and hikes her skirt up as high as she can get away with. She's a bit of an airhead too if you ask me.

Next is my sister Maiko.

"Is Tara out of the bathroom yet?"

Speak of the devil.

"No Maiko she's not, and when she is, I'm next!"

"Whatever."

Maiko is just plain weird. She sits around all day, everyday, staring out the window.

"Where is my diary?! Tokka, if you took it again I'm going to kill you!"

Oh, and when she's not looking out the window, she's yelling at Tokka. I can't blame her though. Tokka can be a pain in the butt. He's always playing practical jokes on everyone. Having a diary in this house is just asking for Tokka to take it, read it; and then do something completely humiliating with your deepest, and in Maiko's case, darkest secrets.

"It's all your's." Tara announced, with a flip of her hair and a very fake smile plastered on her face.

"Thanks." I mumbled, slipping into the bathroom and closing the door.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"Who is it? I just got in here!"

"Kat please....it's me Teoph. I really gotta go!"

"Go out side! I just got in here!"

"Kataang! I'm telling Mom!"

"Ok, ok, gosh, hurry up please."

After Maiko is Tokka. After Tokka is me. Then right after me, is Teoph. He's nice enough, but he is the most un-coordinated person I know.  I don't know how many times a day he walks into the wall, or trips over large, obvious objects on the floor. Objects like.....well.....like me for that matter. If I didn't know better, I'd say the boy was lame in both legs, and blind.

"Bathroom's all yours Kat."

"Thanks Teoph."

He really is a sweet boy. A little clumsy, but sweet. Finally I can get ready for....

"Kat, can I brush my teeth?"

When my little sister Sokue looks up at me with those big blue eyes, I just can't help but give in.

"I guess so, but I'm not leaving."

"That's ok, we can share!" she smiled.

If Sokue didn't cry so much she'd be my favorite sibling. Who am I kidding? Even with all her crying she's still my favorite. She's always so sweet and thoughtful, I really couldn't ask for a better little sister.

"Kat, when you are done in the bathroom, can you feed Appa and Momo please?" My mom asked on the other side of the door.

"Sure Mom." I mumbled through several bobby pins.

Mom sounds happy today. That's good. I swear she has a split personality. If you catch her on one of her bad days, or during her "time of the month", then you better watch out. Cause it's NOT pleasant.

My hair fixed, my face washed, my teeth brushed, and I was almost ready for school. I just needed one more thing, shoes. But as I stepped out of the bathroom and into the hallway, my foot met up with something squishy, wet , and warm.

"Mom! Dukoph puked on the floor again!"

"It's called spit up dear."

Why my parents were in such a hurry to overpopulate their house I'll never know. I mean seriously, there's no such thing as privacy around here! It's funny how those were my exact thoughts as I opened the door to my room...

"AHHH!"

"For the love of Agni, Maiko, put some clothes on!"

"Get out! Get out!"

Looks like I'll be late for school...again.


               End Chapter One.
« Last Edit: Oct 12, 2008 01:20 am by AzureArrow »
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« Reply #1 on: Dec 08, 2007 01:59 am »

Hee heee hee! This is really funny Cheesy

I can't help but wonder who are the parents... and what classmates will these siblings have in school!


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The_Elite711
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« Reply #2 on: Dec 08, 2007 02:15 am »

LOL...that is funny Grin. If those are the siblings, i cant imagine the classmates and friends Tongue. Please keep going whenever you get a chance Smiley.


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« Reply #3 on: Dec 08, 2007 02:22 am »

I FRIKKEN NEED MORE!!!!!!!


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« Reply #4 on: Dec 08, 2007 04:56 am »

This is HILARIOUS, I must have more! Anyway, you are a great author and I love how you made the characters like combinations of the two characters that make up the couple. Keep up the awesome work! Smiley


Thanks to Benton for the awesome sig.

 Keeper of Momo's tears and Colnel Mongke's britishness.

Zutara is starting to sound pretty attractive right about now. BUT SO IS KATAANG! I'm confused.
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« Reply #5 on: Dec 08, 2007 06:32 pm »

 Shocked SURREAL, man...

Wow, I don't know what else to say... I like it, but... Wow.

Surreal...

I can relate to this a bit, as I come from a large family myself, and I know from experience how volitile and... interesting... things can get.  So much personality packed into a small space is like that. 

But the combination of each charecter pairing into one person is...

just...

plain...

SURREAL.


 Wink
I like it, keep up the good work.

Zutara is my fannon
Maiko is my cannon
...
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« Reply #6 on: Dec 08, 2007 06:48 pm »

Wow, this is a good representation of the ships in human form! I really want to read more. Keep writing, Azurearrow!!

Zukoismybf~^_^~


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« Reply #7 on: Dec 09, 2007 05:42 am »

This is a cool and original idea!  Really good, can't wait to see more.

Still ban't. Grar.

Still doing pretty good, though.  Homework level this year = bleagh, but hanging out with my buds = epic.  Epic2 + 10. =3
AzureArrow
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I ship AzureAang.

« Reply #8 on: Dec 14, 2007 11:54 pm »

Thank you for all the kind comments! I will do my best to update this story every Friday evening.

               A Typical Walk to School


Fortunately the walk to school isn't a very long one. Unfortunately mom makes us all walk together. Mom says it's safer that way, personally, I think it might be safer if we all walked separately. But that's just my opinion. 

"Oh look! There's Hakozai! He...is...so...HOT." Zutara said breathlessly as she fanned herself.

"I don't think he..." Maiko began.

"You don't think he what?" Zutara snapped.

"Likes girls." Maiko finished, with a confused look.

"No mater." Zutara mused as she pulled her skirt up to reveal her, I have to admit, beautiful, long tan legs. "I know how to get him to change his mind."

I quickly covered Sokue's eyes, then her ears, and then eyes again.

"Tara! Don't say things like that in front of Sokue and Teoph!" I scolded. Teoph was blushing, and obviously trying hard to avoid eye contact with anyone.

"Kat, you're such a prude." Zutara sneered.


"Well prude is short for prudent, so I take that as a compliment." I announced with my nose in the air. That was lame, I know, but I had to say something.

"You know Tara, Kat does have a point" Maiko taunted.

"Why do you always side with Kataang?" Zutara shouted.

"I'm not siding with anyone! I'm just pointing out..."

"You are siding, and I'm not walking with you." Zutara turned and glared at the rest of us. "I'm not walking with any of you." Then she turned away and quickened her pace.

Tokka was the first one to snicker. Then Maiko brought a hand to her mouth stifling her laughter. That was when I saw it to, and couldn't help but giggle. In the midst of Tara's rant, Tokka had somehow managed to tuck the bottom of her skirt up into her belt, revealing a little more of her thighs than even she would dare. We continued giggling and snickering under our breathe until Zutara ran forward with one hand raised in the air, shouting "Yoo hoo, Hakozai! Wait up!". At that point the flood gates opened and the laughter came pouring out. Even Teoph and Sokue understood what had happened and joined in as we all stopped and laughed till we had tears in our eyes.

When we finally got to school, Zutara stood at the entrance, tapping her left foot, eyes narrowed and arms crossed.

"Whoever pulled my skirt up is going to DIE!" she shouted at us as we caught up to her.

"That's too bad; it was nice knowing you Maiko." Tokka said gently, placing a hand on Maiko's shoulder.

"Nice try." She sneered as she brushed his hand away.

"You know Tara," I began, "that wouldn't happen if you would wear the traditional pants under your..."

"Well if it isn't the water tribe five."

We all turned toward the all too familiar voice. What school wouldn't be complete without the captain of the earthball team and his mindless cronies standing in the doorway, heckling everyone that passed by. At our school it was Toko. Not only was he an arrogant pain in the neck, but ever since he and Zutara had broken up, it was like he had some sort of grudge against all of us.

"There are six of us brainiac." Tokka announced with a roll of his eyes. A smirk quickly spread across his lips as he added, "Though.... I must admit, your math skills seem to have improved."

"Don't make me improve your face!" Toko growled as he squeezed his right hand into a fist.

"Um, actually Toko...that's not such a good idea. If you get caught fighting again, you wont be able to play in our next game." Mindless crony number one whispered loudly into Toko's ear.

"You think I don't know that!" Toko yelled. He pointed a finger just inches from Tokka's face, "Next time I won't hold back." He then disdainfully looked us all up and down before turning and sauntering away with cronies one through five following close behind.
 
               End Chapter Two.
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« Reply #9 on: Dec 15, 2007 12:56 am »

Hakozai is hot!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And the skirt prank was hilarious.

More! I want more! Cheesy Cheesy Cheesy


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« Reply #10 on: Dec 15, 2007 09:54 pm »

Nice one, Azurearrow! Tokka is SO dead!(Wow. How weird. It's like I'm saying a ship is dead.(Not that I'd mind all that much...^_^)) This is one great fanfic, about all the great ships on Avatar. What can I say? It's not exactly fun shipping with Harry Potter, when they're set in stone, while M'nB keep teasing us...^_^

Keep writing!

Zukoismybf~^_^~


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« Reply #11 on: Dec 16, 2007 12:17 pm »

Haha, this is so funny.  I love how you do the interactions of the different ships.  It's so great... you have to continue!


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I ship AzureAang.

« Reply #12 on: Dec 21, 2007 10:40 pm »

We Interrupt Our Regularly Scheduled Programming to bring you this:

               A Typical Dinner


I will write this one in script format, otherwise you are going to get lost. It gets a little crazy.

(Mom begins placing pre-prepared plates of food in front of us.)

Tokka: Ewwww, Mom! Not sea prunes again! You know I...

(Mom gives Tokka one of her death glares.)

Tokka: ...reeaallyy love them. (He half smiles and plugs his nose.)

Mom: These were a gift from your father's friend, Junroh.

Dad: (scowling at his plate) I'll have to thank him properly when I see him again.

Mom: Oh, he won't be around for a while he went on one of his hunting trips.

Tokka: Oh good! He said he'd bring me back a badger toad next time he went on a trip.

Mom: WHAT?! A badger...toad...thing, is not coming inside the house and that is final!

Tokka: That's fine I'll just move out to the barn with Appa and Cuddles.

Teoph: Who is cuddles?

Tokka: My badger toad!

Maiko: You named it already?

Mom: (to dad) What is Junroh's obsession with strange animals?

Dad: And tea! Don't forget his obsession with tea.

Mom: Tokka, you are not going to move out to the barn, you have a bed. I am not raising a son who sleeps with hairy frogs and bison.

Dad: Hey! I used to sleep with Appa all the time!

Mom: Are you saying that's where you want to sleep tonight? Because that could be arranged.

Dad: (clears throat) Soooo... I have some important business at the south pole. And I decided that Teoph and Sokue get to go with me.

Sokue: Yay! I get to see Grandpa! Yay! (she claps her hands)

Teoph: Why can't we just live at the south pole? Why do we have to live on girl island?

Dad: Well, your mother and I lived there before any of you were born, but...

Me: Dad, please don't.

Dad: Don't what?

Me: We've all heard it dad, and I don't want to hear it again!

Teoph: Hear what again? I've never heard it!

Sokue: I haven't heard it either!

Tokka: Mom and dad had to move because their igloo kept melting, it was very embarrassing.

Me: That's enough Tokka.

Teoph: I don't get it.

Sokue: Me neither.

Me: That's good, you're lucky. I do get it, and it makes me want to hurl!

Maiko: For once, I agree with Kataang.

Zutara: For once?

Maiko: What's your problem?

Me: Yeah ‘Tara, what's your problem, you don't like that story either!

Zutara: The only problem I have is that the two of you are always in league against me.

Me: In league?

Maiko: Ooh, ‘Tara learned a new word.

Zutara: Make fun of me all you want, cause I'm prettier than both of you.

Mom: Girls, stop fighting! I haven't water whipped anyone yet today, lets keep it that way.

Sokue: (crying) Mom! Tokka took all my lychee nuts and gave me all his sea prunes when I wasn't looking!

Dad: Tokka!

Tokka: No I didn't!

Teoph: Aunt Toph would know if you were lying or not.

Mom: We don't need Toph to know that Sokue did not start off with that huge pile of prunes on her plate. Tokka, take back your prunes and give her back her nuts! (Mom begins to form a water whip.)

Tokka: Okay okay! (He quickly rearranges his and Sokue's food.

Zutuara: Ouch! (She glares at Maiko.) Dad! Maiko just kicked me under the table!

Dad: Maiko!

Zutara: That is so immature!

Maiko: How can I, I'm not even sitting across from her! Teoph did it.

(Teoph looks up in surprise.)

Zutara: Liar, Teoph wouldn't do that. I don't even think he's coordinated enough.

Maiko: To kick someone?

Yeah, Zutara and Maiko are CONSTANTLY at each other's throats. They can't agree on anything. Ever.

Mom: Girls, I'm warning you.

Zutara: Ouch! Maiko you just kicked me again!

Maiko: Did not!

Zutara: You're just jealous because I am having an extremely good hair day, and you are having a bad hair LIFE.

Maiko: Whatever.

If you haven't noticed, Zutara just doesn't have the brainpower to have an intelligent argument. Everything always comes back to her being prettier, her having better hair, how much taller she is, how many boys like her...

Zutara: And you're jealous of these. (She points at her ample chest.)

...and her having bigger...wait, WHAT?

Maiko: I am not!

Zutara: You are too, flatty!

Maiko: I'm not flat! Kataang is the flat one!

Me: Hey! (My cheeks are turning red.)

Mom: Girls! There are boys at the table!

Dad: Yeah!

Zutara: (whispers) ...flatty...

Maiko: (Points her finger across the table at me.) ‘Kat is so flat she's practically concave!

At this point I'm clutching my poor underdeveloped chest blushing madly. Teoph is blushing, Tokka is rolling on the floor laughing, my Dad is choking on his rice, my Mom's water whip is making the rounds, Sokue is crying, and Dukoph is throwing mashed sea prunes across the room.

Yeah, my family is CRAZY.

             End Chapter Three.

Who are their friends? Who are their teachers?
Find out next week with "A Typical School Day".
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« Reply #13 on: Dec 22, 2007 05:17 am »

*gigglesnort*

Is it incredibly mean of me that I laughed out loud at the "concave" comment? It was funny and I totally wasn't expecting that Tongue

Hilarious as always Cheesy


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« Reply #14 on: Dec 22, 2007 10:36 pm »

Great as always! I can't wait till next week! Smiley


Thanks to Benton for the awesome sig.

 Keeper of Momo's tears and Colnel Mongke's britishness.

Zutara is starting to sound pretty attractive right about now. BUT SO IS KATAANG! I'm confused.
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« Reply #15 on: Dec 22, 2007 10:47 pm »

Haha, excellent!  I can't believe I somehow missed the second update.  I was keeping an eye out for this, I'm glad I caught it this time.  This story is indeed great, I can't wait for the next one! Cheesy

Still ban't. Grar.

Still doing pretty good, though.  Homework level this year = bleagh, but hanging out with my buds = epic.  Epic2 + 10. =3
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« Reply #16 on: Dec 23, 2007 07:01 am »

Great work as usual.  I'm glad you wrote it in script.  You're right, it would have been confusing otherwise.


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« Reply #17 on: Dec 23, 2007 11:52 pm »

Junroh! xDD
I loved that, the personality of Jun and Iroh! Classic!

Kataang, Tokka, Maiko, Zutara, Zukaang, Toko
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« Reply #18 on: Dec 29, 2007 12:48 am »

               A Typical School Day

This morning started out like any other. Everyone fighting over the bathroom, everyone fighting over who got the last rice cake, everyone fighting over who got the privilege of cleaning out the barn tonight. Personal insults flying in every direction on the way to school, followed by Toko's usual warm and friendly greeting as we walked through the doors, and perfectly on cue, Taang careening down the hallway towards us shouting at the top of her lungs, "I've got it Tara! I've got it!"  She stopped just inches from Zutara.

"You got it?" Zutara asked with wide eyes.

"Here it is!" Taang giggled as she pulled a small scroll from her bag. The two girls ogled the rolled parchment as if it was filled with gold.

"Umm...yeah, that's my cue to leave." Tokka grunted.

"What is with you girls and reading fantasy?" Maiko asked, clearly disgusted.

"Well it sure beats reality." Zutara retorted, as she grabbed Taang by the wrist and began to drag her down the hall to their classroom.

I took Sokue by her hand and quickly walked her to her class. I pushed her through the door and gave her teacher, Ursandao, a wave of the hand before setting off to find my best friend Sukka. We had some serious business to attend to. I found her standing up against the wall just outside the cafeteria door, a huge grin across her face.

"I take it he's in there?" I whispered.

Her eyes continued to grin as she bit her bottom lip and nodded yes. Just the thought of him gave me butterflies in my stomach. I leaned forward, hoping to get a glimpse of his beauty, when Sukka grabbed my arm and pulled me to the wall next to her.

"The ‘Okkas have him cornered." She whispered through her teeth.

The Okkas. Jinokka, Yuokka, and Tylokka. Not only did all three girls have similar names but they also shared another trait. An obsession with boys. Any boy was up for grabs as far as they were concerned, whether he had a girlfriend or not. And apparently age was not a factor either.

"I wish they would leave him alone." I whispered to Sukka.

"Don't you just hate them?" Sukka asked.

"I can't." I sighed.

"Oh yeah, I forgot..."

Maybe here is where I should mention that Tylokka and Yuokka happen to be my cousins. Yeah, that's right, they are my uncle Sokka's pride and joy. Twins are rare on Kyoshi Island, especially twins as beautiful as those two. Since they are the same age as Maiko, I've never been that close to them. Whenever they come to my house I usually avoid them. Boys seem to be the only thing on their minds, so they get along better with Zutara. Maiko can't stand them, but then again, Maiko can't really stand anyone.

Sukka peered around the doorway, but quickly threw herself back against the wall. "Here they come!" she announced with a whisper.

Then, one by one, the ‘Okkas came through the doorway and into the hall where Sukka and I stood with fake smiles plastered on our faces. Before leaving, Jinokka turned and winked to someone still in the cafeteria. Jinokka seems to be really popular with the boys; one time I overheard a couple of them whispering about scoring with her on a first date. The whole thing confused me a little, because she didn't seem like the athletic type. But, leave it to boys to think that a ballgame would be the perfect place for a first date.

All three girls walked right on past us without so much as a wave hello. We were still watching them disappear down the hallway when it happened...

"Hey girls."

We both turned slowly toward the melodious voice. The voice of Haruki. In our minds, the most beautiful boy in school, scratch that, the most beautiful boy on all of Kyoshi Island. For the first time since Sukka and I began watching him, he had spoken to us. Before either one of us could think of a good response to his brilliant greeting, he had already smiled, turned, and walked away. Sukka quickly grabbed my arm.

"He...called...us...GIRLS!" Sukka shouted.

"I know!" I shouted back.

Just then the warning bell began to chime.

"We better hurry!" Sukka announced through her smile.

As we walked briskly to our classroom we both glanced towards Tokka's class, knowing that somewhere in that same room Haruki was taking a seat at his desk. As we reached our classroom, our elation was abruptly snuffed out as we noticed that the adult standing at the front of the class was someone that we had never seen before.

"Oh great...another substitute." Sukka frowned.

We made our way to our desks and took a seat as the unknown adult announced: "My name is Fengzula. Due to some unforeseen circumstances, your normal teacher, Hakursa, has left for an unknown destination. I will be your teacher until they return."

Hakursa has always been a wonderful teacher. Kind, patient, and caring. The only problem is that he tends to disappear without warning for long periods of time, leaving us with a substitute. So far this sub didn't sound too bad.

"I will tolerate nothing short of perfection from my students. Arriving late to my class, incomplete homework, a disrespectful attitude toward me or any of the other pupils, or an outburst of any kind and you will be immediately sent home."

Never mind. I was wrong...   


               End Chapter Four.


I realize that Sokue and Yuokka are the same ship. Some ships like this one have more than one name and have the possibility of having one part of the ship be a little more dominant, leading to a different type of character. Thanks for reading!  Smiley  Also, thank you SMBH for pointing out my misspelled name, it is now fixed!  Grin
« Last Edit: Dec 29, 2007 02:44 am by AzureArrow »
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« Reply #19 on: Dec 29, 2007 02:41 am »

Again, hilariously brilliant Grin

I love the thing with the "Okkas", hee! That was so funny. And having Yuokka and Tylokka be twins is hysterical. And it's really cute that Ursandao is a teacher, hehe, and so is Hokursa, and that Haruki is the prettiest boy in school Cheesy

Though I have to ask, is Hokursa supposed to be Hakoda/Ursa? Given the description of disappearing without warning for long periods of time, I think so. But wouldn't it be Hakorsa/Hakursa instead of Hokursa? Meh, nevermind me Tongue

And Fengzula sounds like the substitute from hell! Shocked

Can't wait for chapter 5! Cheesy


Keeping: Earth King's necklace, pandalily flowers, Zhaodburns, Sokka's speech in DoBS
Striving for a New Life (updated 6/july/10)
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« Reply #20 on: Dec 29, 2007 10:48 am »

The 'Okkas. What's next? The 'Taras? This is wonderful. All these ships acting as if they were normal people, but with all the traits of the two characters. Nice.

Great updates, Azure!

Zukoismybf~^_^~


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« Reply #21 on: Dec 29, 2007 01:07 pm »

Wow, another great installment.  Like everyone else I love the 'Okkas.  So funny.


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« Reply #22 on: Dec 30, 2007 06:44 pm »

I really like your writing!! I am curious as to why the teacher keeps disappearing?Huh?

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Yes really!

« Reply #23 on: Dec 30, 2007 07:18 pm »

Sorry i havent read lately, i have caught up with it all and it is so hilarious. Cheesy I love it, please keep going Smiley!


GIMP Master
I keep Roku bending the elements at the same time,
the Water Tribe subs in DoB
Aang-a-lang
Hotman

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Did the definition of "genius" change?

« Reply #24 on: Jan 04, 2008 10:51 pm »

Friday night...its dark and cold outside..we wait. we wait for CHAPTER 5..from AzureArrow...but..where is this mysterious writer???  Cheesy....ohh I am a nut

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